Guess who’s back😋.

Damian’s problematically older boyfriend who I will be naming Jeremiah but he goes by Jesse because you opened my eyes and he used to be my favorite both in Full house and Fuller house.

Me thinks Jesse would take Damian on dates at bars and cheap enough places that wouldn’t question too hard why Damian in there in the first place, he always makes sure to get anything vegan for Damian, because he loves his boy wife like that, Damian swoons at this (Dami baby that’s the bare minimum) and gets embarrassed whenever Jesse goes fight some poor cashier because of the wrong food order,.

Damian who’s recently been introduced to cliche movies because of Jesse’s huge classic movie collection back at his run down home, Damian learning the whole “Married in Vegas”, “Eloping in France” kind or tropes and starts fantasizing of being with Jesse forever.

And Jesse who, “proposes”, in a way to Damian a Saturday afternoon when Damian’s been benched from patrol and decided to sneak out to see his boyfriend, Jesse and Dami cuddling on Jesse’s old, but comfortable couch while watching movies and eating popcorn, when Jesse reaches into his pocket and puts a surprisingly expensive, high quality, pure gold ring with embroidery and small little diamonds, the main stone being a beautiful emerald (Damian 100% knows Jesse stole the thing from god knows where). Damian who puts on the ring (doesn’t question how Jesse got his ring size) without words and simply kisses his manfailure now “fiancé”.

Some weeks later, Damian is supposedly kidnapped or astray, having disappeared from the manor Sunday morning after patrol, which of course, unleashes caos on the manor, theories and speculations are made, trackers are disabled, cameras are checked, he’ll even John is asked if he knows or can hear Damians heart beat ( he can’t, Damian stole a kryptonite ring from the cave).

Meanwhile, Sunday morning, Damian sneaks out the manor at 4am, just enough after patrol for everyone to be dead asleep, takes three, pre-packed bags, and goes to Jesse’s house unannounced, breaks into his house, essentially kidnaps him, and walks 5 miles to the plain and subtle car he brought months ago with his Share of the Al Ghul fortune (the money comes surprisingly in handy when your family is a bunch or detectives that would notice in less than three hours if you used a regular card to buy anything suspicious), he then starts driving, and driving, until they reach a deserted spot where a private jet is waiting (Damian has never been more grateful to be an Al Ghul) for them, Damian loads the baggage (aka the still unconscious Jesse), gets on pilot, and flies off to guess where? The Himalayas.

Jesse wakes up mid flight, he goes to Damian and asks what they were doing and Damian just answers, “We are eloping, Beloved,”, Jesse doesn’t ask further and instead goes back and starts indulging in the high quality snacks and fancy stuff that’s in the jet, they reach a beautiful spot, where Damian lads a few miles away.

Damian goes to Jesse and gives him the bag he had prepared for him specifically and takes his own before disappearing to one of the two bathrooms, long story short they have a mini, personal wedding that I do not feel like narrating rn, but yeah they get married in clothes Damian picked out months ago, eat food Damian prepared, stay in the clearing in a small, but cozy house hidden in the woods and sign a marriage certificate.

The bat family is suffering.

Damian and Jesse stay there for three days before they have to leave, they pack, they get on the jet, fly to the same deserted place in Gotham, land, drive back, Damian leaves his now husband at his house (Damian is already looking into remodeling it), leaves him the car, and walks all the way to the manor, where he sneaks in through his window, takes a shower, gets dressed, and walks down for dinner as if nothing happened.

The Batfam is not amused.

From the top Dami one!. Tim swears on his life that he and Damian were simply “exercising”, “just practicing some moves and all that you know!” (Tim is as red as a tomato, sweating buckets, shirtless, his pants are half pulled down and is currently trying to prevent the Batfam from actually getting inside Damian’s room) Damian doesn’t say anything to support or deny anything Tim says, just watching while already planning to get new locks for his door and maybe his windows. The family eventually “settles” down and doesn’t ask many questions (never mind that nobody believed that Damian let Tim voluntarily inside his room to “train” when they could’ve done it in the cave) other than the occasional joke here and there. Now, they might’ve left the topic itself alone, but they WERE still nosy, detective, vigilantes, so they begin watching Damitim closely, borderline stalking them, and sure it’s weird that Damian’s getting so…close, to Tim of all people, and sure it’s even weirder that sometimes they come out of each other’s rooms looking freshly showered but that doesn’t HAVE to mean anything…right?. The climax comes a slow, cozy and relaxing afternoon, which itself was worrying, an indicator that something BIG was most likely going to happen, be it in the manor, the cave or in patrol, they all knew something would happen today, and they were right! It’s just that, well, they were more expecting a sudden Arkham breakout kind of situation you know? But I guess that finding Tim pushed into his bed, naked, ass up with their youngest brother/son, Damian behind him, equally Bare and well, INSIDE Tim,is also worth noting as a bit of a major event. Tim should’ve listened to Damian and install a digital lock.

Im back. I’ve been thinking of Damian’s problematically older boyfriend a LOT, so, obviously the right course of action is to make the guy a profile.

I’m still not too sure on names, but I’m confident on the rest, he’d probably be tall, enough to rival Jason, because Damian would never date a weakling (that is the last of your problems rn Dami), he’d be muscular, but not overly so, just enough to make it obvious that he’s physically fit, tanned skin, the kind that screams he’s been under the sun for hours on end, hazel eyes? I thought maybe green, brown with green undertones maybe, a specific beauty mark on the left under his lips and a half healed split lip.

Yes, I’m thinking a lot of ear piercings maybe a dermal and genital, his hair yellowish blond and damaged from both the sun exposure and bleaching, the mohawk yes, and maybe some facial hair, tho I’m thinking more of a subtle beard, very subtle.

He’d wear low rise jeans, extremely, low rise jeans, probably religiously use tank tops with stains of nobody knows what and sneakers or smth, also, MAYBE, a leather jacket.

He’d probably use 13-in one shampoo (until Damian forces a proper hair care routine) and would wear shorts and nothing else at home or anywhere if he feels like going to the mall without a shirt or underwear whatsoever and sandals, he’d smoke weed he either grew himself or got from crime alley (seriously Jason HAS to have seen this man at least once), half of his clothes are stained with grease and motor oil, and he probably smells like a really weird mix of grease, sweat, weed, “citrus” shampoo that smells like dishwasher soap, and some cheap cologne which’s name has “manly” somewhere. He probably has a bike tbh. The name Jeremiah is calling me rn. Damian loves his manfailure boyfriend who’s mouth taste like alcohol and gives him his (highkey nasty) hoodies to wear and gives him gifts in the form of stray cats + a baby raccoon.

If I’m going for a Afab Dami au he definitely ends up pregnant before graduating.