Guess who’s back😋.

Damian’s problematically older boyfriend who I will be naming Jeremiah but he goes by Jesse because you opened my eyes and he used to be my favorite both in Full house and Fuller house.

Me thinks Jesse would take Damian on dates at bars and cheap enough places that wouldn’t question too hard why Damian in there in the first place, he always makes sure to get anything vegan for Damian, because he loves his boy wife like that, Damian swoons at this (Dami baby that’s the bare minimum) and gets embarrassed whenever Jesse goes fight some poor cashier because of the wrong food order,.

Damian who’s recently been introduced to cliche movies because of Jesse’s huge classic movie collection back at his run down home, Damian learning the whole “Married in Vegas”, “Eloping in France” kind or tropes and starts fantasizing of being with Jesse forever.

And Jesse who, “proposes”, in a way to Damian a Saturday afternoon when Damian’s been benched from patrol and decided to sneak out to see his boyfriend, Jesse and Dami cuddling on Jesse’s old, but comfortable couch while watching movies and eating popcorn, when Jesse reaches into his pocket and puts a surprisingly expensive, high quality, pure gold ring with embroidery and small little diamonds, the main stone being a beautiful emerald (Damian 100% knows Jesse stole the thing from god knows where). Damian who puts on the ring (doesn’t question how Jesse got his ring size) without words and simply kisses his manfailure now “fiancé”.

Some weeks later, Damian is supposedly kidnapped or astray, having disappeared from the manor Sunday morning after patrol, which of course, unleashes caos on the manor, theories and speculations are made, trackers are disabled, cameras are checked, he’ll even John is asked if he knows or can hear Damians heart beat ( he can’t, Damian stole a kryptonite ring from the cave).

Meanwhile, Sunday morning, Damian sneaks out the manor at 4am, just enough after patrol for everyone to be dead asleep, takes three, pre-packed bags, and goes to Jesse’s house unannounced, breaks into his house, essentially kidnaps him, and walks 5 miles to the plain and subtle car he brought months ago with his Share of the Al Ghul fortune (the money comes surprisingly in handy when your family is a bunch or detectives that would notice in less than three hours if you used a regular card to buy anything suspicious), he then starts driving, and driving, until they reach a deserted spot where a private jet is waiting (Damian has never been more grateful to be an Al Ghul) for them, Damian loads the baggage (aka the still unconscious Jesse), gets on pilot, and flies off to guess where? The Himalayas.

Jesse wakes up mid flight, he goes to Damian and asks what they were doing and Damian just answers, “We are eloping, Beloved,”, Jesse doesn’t ask further and instead goes back and starts indulging in the high quality snacks and fancy stuff that’s in the jet, they reach a beautiful spot, where Damian lads a few miles away.

Damian goes to Jesse and gives him the bag he had prepared for him specifically and takes his own before disappearing to one of the two bathrooms, long story short they have a mini, personal wedding that I do not feel like narrating rn, but yeah they get married in clothes Damian picked out months ago, eat food Damian prepared, stay in the clearing in a small, but cozy house hidden in the woods and sign a marriage certificate.

The bat family is suffering.

Damian and Jesse stay there for three days before they have to leave, they pack, they get on the jet, fly to the same deserted place in Gotham, land, drive back, Damian leaves his now husband at his house (Damian is already looking into remodeling it), leaves him the car, and walks all the way to the manor, where he sneaks in through his window, takes a shower, gets dressed, and walks down for dinner as if nothing happened.

The Batfam is not amused.