I think it’s both, or just depending on the person. Some people move on easily, whereas others don’t. I think love is sacrifice and commitment—if you’re willing to do those things for the person you love, and them too vice versa, then I think it can create a strong relationship with the potential to last a long time.
But if one person doesn’t share the same values, then it’s best to let go imo. Habits can change, but it’s hard to change values without having the life experience to back it.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with keeping memories of someone! Others might feel differently, but as someone who does scrapbooking and gifts scrapbooks to others, I’d like to think they hold onto them even after we drift apart. Same thing with keeping pictures in your camera roll. If you start dating someone who’s not comfortable with you keeping pictures/belongings of your ex, then it’s up to you to decide whether to change for that person or find someone else who shares the same sentiment (either option is perfectly valid imo).

I say hold onto those thoughts because you only live once and every memory is precious in this lifetime <3

I actually think I already told you about it briefly (unless it was someone else). So basically, I wanted to go caving (aka spelunking), and there are these really cool caves in a desert semi close to where I live. So I gather a few friends of mine and we drive out there after work. About an hour in, we’re going down these bumpy roads, and I suddenly get the idea to let one of my friends drive (bad idea). My car had a sunroof, so while my friend is driving, going around 60 mph (~100km/hr), me and one of my homegirls sit on top of the roof. He starts to speed up, the wind is blowing through our hair and we’re taking stupid videos of ourselves, unaware that our friend starts to lose control of the steering wheel. Next thing we know, we’re swerving left and right, dirt is getting kicked up in our faces, and we notice we’re starting to shoot off the side of the road into these shrubs, so we quickly jump back inside. Thankfully we acted quickly because we end up skidding through a few shrubs off-road, then I feel my heart lodge into my throat as the car crashes, tips over, and completely rolls over until we’re upside down. Not fun at all. We had to crawl through the side windows because the doors couldn’t open. And since none of us were wearing seatbelts, I’m surprised we weren’t more hurt. One of my friends fractured his sternum, another re-fractured his collarbone, and my homegirl and I walked away with concussions. Genuinely it happened so fast, like a blimp in time, that it still doesn’t feel real even after a couple years have passed lol. Car was totaled (obviously). But yeah, you live and you learn.

The breakup was mutual. My ex was a good person, but I often felt annoyed and ignored because he couldn’t communicate or talk about his feelings. We both didn’t have great childhoods so I understand why he struggled, but at some point, I had to learn to choose myself, especially as someone who had already worked through their trauma. He was not willing to work through his. There were a lot of mismatches between us, too, in hindsight. Our music tastes were completely different. He made music that sounded like playboy carti and he was even a fan of matt proxy (lmao), while at the time, my music taste was indie rock and soft metal.
I was adventurous and liked to go on trips, while he was a homebody but a hard worker.
I had big aspirations and a desire to go to college, while he had no idea where he saw himself in the next 5 years.
We broke up like a year ago, were together for almost 2 yrs, and I haven’t looked back. It’s a little sad because even though we incompatible in some areas, we were best friends. So I’m saddened to lose his friendship (staying as friends wouldn’t work for us), but I’m glad it’s over. (Thinking about writing a fic abt this experience AKA my glue fic if I ever finish it.)

Didn’t mean for the reply to be so long, but anyway, thank you for the sweet comment! I wish you the best in life as well 🫶🫶

Oh boy idk. A lot of things honestly. I had a near-death life experience a few years ago, and I changed a lot after that. If anyone's curious, i can talk more about it, but it's actually not that interesting lol
Breaking up with my first ever long-term boyfriend was also really jarring, but it made me reevaluate my values and what I look for in a partner.
One of my family members died almost two months ago, so that's been something. If anyone else is also experiencing loss, I'm always here if you want to talk <3
But most of all, starting college has been the most character defining for me, especially since I'm planning to become a nurse and take care of sick people. I have to put on my big girl pants and be a functional member of society which is hard some days but rewarding when I succeed!

Aw thank you for sharing with me! Coming out for the first time is one of the hardest things to do, but it's something that gets easier as time goes on and you find a supportive group of ppl who love and accept you.

I think it's a good thing that she acted nonchalant! That's honestly how it should be. I would be upset if I told someone I liked a girl and they acted disgusted or said something like "You don't look gay" (which i've gotten before and it's a yucky feeling) and idk I just wish being queer didn't have to be a "surprising" thing when it's just as normal as being straight...

That said, I honestly don't know what "bi vibes" are. I'm guessing your friend just has a good gaydar lol because I've never looked at a person and thought "They give off bi vibes -- they HAVE to be bisexual!" I bet that's her way of trying to be supportive, and also her asking you to talk about your crush is very sweet! Also, you do NOT give off loser vibes. Trust me, the only person who will think you're a "loser" is yourself, so love yourself and always be true to yourself and the people who vibe with you will find you 🫶

Asexuality is a spectrum, and I think you'd be surprised how many people are on it! Being transparent about your asexuality is always important before getting into a relationship. If you tell someone you're dating that you might never want to have sex, then it's up to them to decide if that's something they're comfortable with. Understandably, they might not if they're not asexual - BUT I promise there are a lot of people who will!! I think I might be demisexual because I loathe hookups and only enjoy sex with someone I'm in love with, but if my partner never wanted to have sex, I would be more than happy with that!! That wouldn't be a deal breaker for me :)

OK now that i've read your whole message... your friend has no right to tell others about your sexuality - that is your personal choice whether you come out to anyone or not. If you don't mind her telling others, then I'm happy that you feel comfortable!! But you also don't have to be fine with it if you're not and you can tell her not to out you. Anyone who's a true ally would understand. No one deserves to know anything until YOU are comfortable with it (this is coming from someone who felt forced to come out years ago). Just take care of yourself, love <33

If it makes you feel better, I used to think I would never date anyone because I thought no one would ever possibly accept me, and I was so wrong. There are people who will accept you and love you for who you are, even if that seems unfathomable rn, so what I'll say is never lose hope and keep being yourself!! And if you decide later on that you never want to date, that's completely fine too!

Thank you, lovely!! and i love you too!! 💓💖

Thank you for the rec!! I find myself listening to way more ggs than bgs nowadays, but I've somehow never taken the time to check out aespa! They'll be my next listen!! 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ I also searched winrina and they are possibly the two prettiest people ive ever seen omggg. I'm really out of the loop lol i had no idea who they were. I need ao3 to be up NOW so i can read winrina 😭
It's so hard for me to stan multiple groups. So yea, the only group i stan is cortis, meaning theyre the only group whose content i watch or will go out of my way to see in concert. idk why, i just find it hard to get attached to groups 🤷‍♀️
Gurlll my adhd is so bad and im unmedicated so i getcha! Come here anytime to yap cuz i'll yap with ya 🫶