AU were Dirty Old Man Yakuza Boss!Sukuna’s underlings notice after a few water cooler conversations that Sukuna surprisingly knows a LOT about this one children’s show for toddlers that recently started airing on tv

They just kind of shrug it off and figure that Sukuna only knows so much about it because he watches it with his secret lover and child or something

And… well, they’re partially right, because there is indeed a secret lover (well… at least as far as Sukuna is concerned, there is. Yuuji has no idea who Sukuna even is 😭😅). But what they don’t realize is that the secret “lover,” Yuuji, is actually the host of that children’s show, and that Sukuna watches the show everyday specifically to jerk his cock raw over the sight of that cute 18-year-old boy prancing about the screen to entertain a delighted crowd of three-year-olds

“You stupid little slut,” Sukuna would snarl, jerking his dick off fast and hard while watching Yuuji patiently explain to his audience that mixing red and blue paint together makes purple paint. “You’ll see what color you’ll get when I paint your pink pussy white”

Related to the last message… I was just thinking…… Post-canon!Megumi getting flashbacks to Sukuna’s Yuuji fantasies at random and inconvenient times 😭

Like Megumi will just be hanging out with Yuuji, and he’ll say something that makes Yuuji laugh, and then he’ll randomly flash back to one of Sukuna’s fantasies where Yuuji’s on his back, bent in half in a mating press, wearing nothing but some fetish-tastic Heian-era courtesan outfit, whimpering helplessly while Sukuna rails his pussy raw, moaning things like “Oh, Master~!!! My infinitely powerful King of Curses!!! I have completely submitted myself to you as I should have from the very beginning because you were and always will be so obviously superior to me in every way!!! Your mindset of doing what you want whenever you want has completely overcome my ideals, which you have broken so thoroughly!!! Yet despite being so completely defeated by you, I have maintained enough of myself that I’m still a refuge for your soul!!! Please breed my needy little pussy, Master!!!! Also, you are the best at catching crayfish!!!!!!!”

And Yuuji will get SO confused when Megumi suddenly goes all gray and excuses himself to smash his face through a wall 😭

Tbh, the general absence of Uraume in SukuIta fanworks is kinda surprising considering the fact that they would easily be THEE #1 Wingperson/Hypeperson for Sukuna

Like, if Uraume were watching Sukuna rail Yuuji’s pussy (because, like, idk, maybe Sukuna just wanted to do a traditional public consummation or something), they would smugly be glazing the unrivaled Heian-era backshot techniques that Sukuna’s delivering to Yuuji 24/7. “What a fool, that Itadori Yuuji,” Uraume would then smirk, dodging the pillow that an aggravated Yuuji hurled in their direction. “To think that something as flimsy as his modern-era condom would be able to overcome the potency of Lord Sukuna’s seed. He will be pregnant by the end of the hour”

Tbh, considering that Sukuna’s kind of pseudo-friends with Kenjaku, Yuuji’s creator/parent, I bet that their conversations must’ve gotten SO awkward at some point

Like

Sukuna, gazing stoically into the distance: Kenjaku, you were the one who created the brat, yes?

Kenjaku: Yes, that was me

Sukuna: Hm.

Sukuna, two seconds later: Then what are the precise measurements of the brat’s pussy? As in, the circumference and whatnot

Kenjaku, bewildered: U-Uh, I’m not sure…… I only ever really saw him as an infant……..

Sukuna: Hm. I see.

Kenjaku: [heaves inner sigh of relief, thinking that Sukuna’s done being weird]

Sukuna, five minutes later: Kenjaku.

Kenjaku, wary now: ……. Yes, Sukuna……?

Sukuna: Is it possible to calibrate the volume of the brat’s whimpers and squeals to maximum?

Kenjaku:

Kenjaku: Let’s reschedule our talk for later

It’s pathetic sukuna summer and i have been thinking about anon’s post about sukuna having the most insanely stupid fantasies about breeding yuji that poor megumi gets flashbacks of every now and then. “You’re the best at catching crayfish!!!” haunts me everyday. Absolute banger. Let’s say yuji finally lets sukuna hit. That man is not lasting more than 20 minutes AT BEST, this is the only pussy he’s gotten since the heian era and it’s from yuji itadori. Worst of all, he had all these ideas about being rough and dominant only to end up a shivering service top who can only do missionary because he needs to see the brat’s face and hear that he’s doing a good job. Yuji still enjoys it but it takes a couple rounds for him to train sukuna to stop being such a sorry bum.

I love that a very popular headcanon in the Japanese fandom is that Sukuna will be reincarnated and will be able to live a happy life with Yuuji. The Japanese fandom is always making beautiful fan arts and even fanfics where the two are together, and I find it hard to believe that Gege isn't aware of this. Can you imagine Gege's next SukuIta art being of Yuuji and Sukuna as children, being happy in their next life? For example, both of them playing in the snow or fishing for crayfish on a summer day. ❤️❤️❤️Remember that Yuuji mentioned that no matter how many times Mahito comes back he will come back to kill him again and again, (i.e. he's talking about being reincarnated to spend his life killing curses). And then Sukuna talked about taking a different path if given another chance, i.e. both Yuuji and Sukuna are talking about reincarnating and both did so in front of Mahito. Something quite curious and that I think Japanese fans also noticed, they are the only characters who talk about reincarnation and that makes me happy because I could bet my soul that both of them are going to meet again 😭❤️

Hello again!! I’m glad that you enjoyed my dumb little ramblings 😅 I break out that crayfish line once about every ~6 months or so on anon since I’m shy and I’m never sure if it’ll land right among super cool fellow SukuIta shippers, but the sheer amount of sweat that Sukuna had in the manga trying to prove to this one brat whose opinion he supposedly cares about 0% that he is the superior crayfish catcher absolutely haunted me, so I just. Feel the overwhelming urge to bring up Sukuna’s overwhelming need to have Yuuji be impressed by his crayfish skills every once in a while, lol. Especially since it haunts me that Megumi might’ve witnessed all that mess LOL

Tbh, I kinda blame Yuuji for all of the deaths and mayhem that Sukuna caused in the series because let’s be honest, if he had just spread his legs and given that poor dude some pussy, then Sukuna would’ve learned how to be normal smh. Yuupussy would’ve thoroughly domesticated Sukuna 😤

Yuupussywhipped!Sukuna would be a 100% productive member of society that files his taxes on time and uses his turn signal while driving

Post Yuupussy!Sukuna’s idea of getting wild would be splurging on a new lawnmower and writing strongly worded letters to insurance agents

The most intense battles that Yuupussywhipped!Sukuna would ever get into would be the heated verbal sparring sessions he has with that blundering idiot Tanaka from Accounting in passive aggressively worded corporate emails

When Single Fuckboys like Mahito would try to get the band (Sukuna, Jogo, etc) together again to hit the town and fool around just like the Good Old Days, Yuupussywhipped!Sukuna would just lift a brow and go “No thanks. Yuuji’s making katsu curry tonight, and there’s a new Home Improvement episode we’re going to watch together at 8”

Younger brother sukuna who’s down bad for his older sister Yuuji. He loves her so much in all ways and one day Yuuji catches him hiding in her closet while she touches herself and he’s so embarrassed and he’s crying pathetically saying sorry while hugging her around the waist so she won’t hate him and Yuuji sighs and leans back in her bed and tells him to make his nee Chan cum and Sukuna just stares face red from crying and snotty and she tells him that if he’s sorry then put his mouth to work. Just Sukuna and his older sister who lets him pity eat her out