I mean I don't know if I am or not though lol? And I only consider it based on people who might not even be either and are just pathologizing their thought processes. It's hard to discern. I have accepted in recent years though that my internal experience is extremely different from most peoples.

I've never been alone in here. I feel like Oyasumi Punpun is the best portrayal I've seen as a sort of way my mind has worked since childhood - and the same as Punpun I quite literally thought I was speaking to God. But ultimately, those voices talking to you, they're just you, aren't they?

I'm not sure of "switching". If it's something I do, I don't have a lot of awareness of it.

I think a lot about what "The Wilderness" is meant to symbolize outside of being some supernatural entity and I think it's just pure Id, instinct, impulse and desire that Lottie worships and what Shauna embodies. When we first meet her Shauna is restraining herself but just barely. Shauna wants Jackie so badly and takes what she can get from her - slumber party experimentation and sleeping with her boyfriend by proxy. I think Shauna's desire for Jackie is not just romantic, as she is the first to dabble in cannibalism and she admits to Lottie that she wanted to do it. It is the manifestation of her desire to just completely consume Jackie and become one with her.

Nature is Id, ego & superego come from "civilization". Civilization turns us into neurotic zoo animals. Shauna is not happy with her life, is not happy just falling into the typical invisible role of a housewife. She knows in the wilderness she was free to be who she truly was, and follow her darkest impulses. It would have been a shorter life, but a more vibrant one.

In a vision, as Lottie is recognizing her self-repression, Shauna as the Antler Queen says to Lottie, "is there anything of value in this life that doesn't come with risk? Or loss? Or consequence? Does a hunt that has no violence feed anyone?"

I think as Lottie was embracing the wilderness she suddenly got scared of its violence, its part of why she made Nat the leader and why it stopped speaking to her, and then Shauna taught her to not be afraid of its violence and embrace it as part of their freedom.

I'm not sure why there needs to be a baby actually lol I think this is some... whole... thing we actually haven't even seen yet that will make sense in s4. Maybe even something that's specifically between Shauna and Lottie - like they had a baby across space time. It does seem that Lottie means "our baby" specifically towards like... Shauna.... not in a collective way - but more of between her, Shauna, and the Wilderness. After all she says it brought Callie to her, and before we get that scene we get teen Lottie asking adult Lottie if she's "ready to meet her?" which referred to Callie - then it's like Lottie went back in time. This all points to some freaky time shit happening. So idk, mb the wilderness let Shauna and Lottie concieve of a spirit baby that was waiting for a host through space time LOL. That might be me being delusional - but this baby dynamic is obviously between Lottie and Shauna and no one else. So... what am I supposed to be thinking here...

Lottie definitely knew Callie would kill her and wanted it to happen, I believe it's why she lot those candles. The whole scene is a ritual for her, she wants to be her babies first kill - it was maybe what she always wanted, what she always saw, but didn't fully understand yet. Maybe considers it a defining moment of birth for the Wilderness Baby, the thing she didn't want to "miss".

And the things she praises about Callie are Callie following her Id, her impulses, her true nature.

But it's puzzling because, why does any of this matter in civilization?! What's even the point?

This is why I think their reality is fake. This is hinted at by Travis's words too in sp 10, "Don't you ever wonder who's reality we're in?" and also Lottie's words to Mari, "You've been here before".

So maybe... the timeline resets? Maybe they pass over on the plane because they're going back, a la Lost, to do it all over again? To get it right this time?

Maybe this is an afterlife that was specifically for them. Maybe they were meant to be there from the moment they were born and the place called to them.

On rewatch, I think any idea that the supernatural elements are them just being crazy is very tongue in cheek. I'm not sure of the point of it, maybe just to keep doubt and a belief in this false reality. But we've seen Lottie's premonitions come to fruition, so it's obviously a real thing imo.

Sorry kind of rambled here! Much to think about as you said! tl;dr Lottie & Shauna love being feral animals and fuck in the astral realm in s4 to have a space time baby. This will happen totally not delusional.

i normally would have just found them annoying but shrugged them off but that they acted as though that ship was some kind of amazing queer rep while simultaneously being lesphobic towards lightcannons and erasing Jinx's queerness by claiming LC was only fanon made me feel insane lol. Like we're such a lesbian fandom one moment then "jinx is not canonically queer" the next because it would require acknowledging LC - and that they felt so threatened by such a small sapphic ship in the first place was ridiculous. Always "LCs are racist" based on setups that were clearly from one of them but they're never homophobes or racist from all the shit thats happened in their space like oh sure this is not motivated by pettiness at all you genuinely feel oppressed by a niche ship that mostly minds its business sure I believe you. And they're STILL this way btw they haven't changed whenever i get an unfortunate glimpse at them. May them and that shit ship rot in obscurity. I'm glad the glazers have mostly moved onto the next hetslop and i mostly see people bring it up in a negative light now lol.