Uncle PG

Alcoholic Anonymous · 7d

again re the last ask, do you ever wonder if theres an alternative to agreeing with the demons? some lever or leverage mayhaps?

All my demons want me dead. We have that in common. I have much to do before that happens, but when my usefulness has expired, I want no more mysteries to solve, no questions as to why. It'll be a very simple answer.

In other words, its a controllable means to an end.

Uncle PG · 6d

Alcoholic Anonymous · 7d

Re the last ask You ever sit with those demons and try to talk to them?

More than I'd care to admit. The problem is that I tend to agree with them.

"Yeah, things are that fucked."

"Yeah, that flash flood thread is serious. Sucks to be you."

'Yeah, that work project is going to be a bitch. Should have spoke up earlier, GLHF"

I don't spiral because I want to, it happens because it feels like the logical outcome.

Uncle PG · 7d

Alcoholic Anonymous · 7d

yeah can i get 2 number 9's, a number 9 large, number 6 with extra dip, number 7, 2 number 45's, one with cheese, and a large soda

sir this is a Wendys

Uncle PG · 7d

Alcoholic Anonymous · 7d

Why do you continue drinking, aside from keeping up the romantic (and kind of disturbing) drinker persona online?

Because it quiets the demons that pursue me from within.

I suffer from pervasive, all-consuming anxiety. People would call me a worry-wart in the past but its more complex than that. I am susceptible to doom-spiraling about anything ranging from work, weather, my own past actions, medical issues, etc. I've described it as a curse of being overly involved and concerned with the people and things around me, and the weight that it places on my own soul. Almost all of the things that weigh so heavily on me have nothing to do with my own life or fate, but with those around me.

Alcohol is a coping mechanism, and its never been anything else, in hindsight. I've said at some points that drinking makes me into the Real Me™ but the reality behind that is that the real me is the one that isn't paralyzed by worry and fret and the like. If I were free from all of those things, I wouldn't need a way to pave over them in order just to show my real ass to everyone, and be the person I always wanted to be. In other words, when I'm under the influence I'm away from the influence of the things going on inside my own head. Paradoxical, or something.

I'm sorry if I've ever disturbed or disquieted you. I didn't set out to do that. The fact of the matter is that I'm too stupid to lie, so I wind up being very raw and nakedly frank. I never blame anyone who unfollows me, I can be a lot at times, and it can make people uncomfortable. As much as I love people, my posts are for me first. Its a tiny selfishness in my life wherein I can bear my soul, ugly though it may be, to anyone willing to read or listen.

Uncle PG · 7d

Alcoholic Anonymous · 7d

You are such a goober. I love you. But, like, not romantically.

I love you too, also not romantically. If you read my post and got here then you're a real one and I'd go to war for you

Uncle PG · 7d

Alcoholic Anonymous · 7d

do you have any goals you want to achieve before you die? your lifestyle seems really nice

I want to do a lot of things.

I want to help a lot of people. I'm over 4 gallons of blood donated, I'd like to hit 20. I'm helping my brother-in-law to get back on his feet after <life happenings>. I'm hopeful I don't have to take care of my dad in a few years, but I will if I have to.

I want to fund a dog rescue. Dogs have done so much for me in my life, and the connection between man and dog is ancient, beyond living memory. Dogs never wanted anything more than to be loved and have a warm place to sleep, and if I would sell my own soul if I could have assurance they would all be cared for.

I want to travel. Japan, Singapore, Ireland, Hong Kong, San Francisco, New Orleans, all on my bucket list. Not really realistic for now though.

I have stupid fantasies about writing a book. I don't know if I'll ever do it, and I doubt it would be any good. I've had plenty of posts where its just... a thought in my head, a song in my heart, and a buzz in my brain, and the words just fall out of my fingers. I want to bottle that up and put it into a package to show people. Not cause I want to be famous or rich of anything but just to be able to bear my soul to anyone willing to look.

I don't know what about my lifestyle seems nice. I'm a sad fucking guy all things considered.

Uncle PG · 7d

Alcoholic Anonymous · 7d

how many pictures of that anime girl kikuri do you have saved to your computer?
also, like when you post, do you think of the picture, & then the post? or do you hunt for a picture that captures the mood after you type it out?

The 'bocchi' folder has 2980 images. The vast majority are Kikuri Hiroi, but there's some memes and Kessoku band shots in there too.

As far as posting goes, its a little of both. Sometimes I will write a post and then search for something related to stay topical, other times I'll find a banger image and it just needs a little sprinkle of PG on top of it as a signature.

Uncle PG · 7d

Alcoholic Anonymous · 7d

You say you're not gay but are you suuuuure? You wouldn't do anything with a guy?

I wouldn't, no, sorry. I'm not only a hardcore monogamist but I find men physically repulsive.

Uncle PG · 7d

Alcoholic Anonymous · 1mo

How did you get into drinking and would you reccommend it?

Here's an old post with what amounts to an origin story I guess: https://socially.drinkingatmy.computer/notice/AqCS8VkLj7H8TFaaJc

And no, I don't recommend this lifestyle to anyone. Substance abuse is a life raft, it'll keep you afloat a while longer but it won't give you a solid footing. That being said I don't blame anyone for what they do to keep their head above water a while longer.

Whatever you do, don't get started on nicotine. That's the real bastard.

Uncle PG · 1mo

Alcoholic Anonymous · 1mo

Apple or Banana

I like apples better but a banana fits my nutritional macros better and is a lot less of a commitment in terms of calories, so its a tough call. I'm going with banana though, because apples can have a real low floor.