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anonymous · 16d
U pop up in my feed a lot and every time its like being shown a mirror. Sometimes it's uncanny I'll be thinking something and one of ur posts will show up and theres the inside of my head. How do u cope with longing for intimacy? If at all? Do u think it's possible to date when we're like this? Is there any specific way ud go about it or wld u just use the apps? That's a lot sry hugs ily ur very sweet
my longing for intimacy is mainly related to platonic and familial rather than romantic. same thought process for me tbh, where it’s like spiraling and ruminating over things (more so the platonic ones) and wanting to be closer to ppl yet not wanting to be vulnerable.
since you’re asking about romantic relationships i dont have much input personally atm bc i have been so dulled down by antidepressants and my ed that i genuinely feel no attraction or interest to anyone. however, if you relate so much to what i post than i think you should reconsider why you want to find a partner and if it’s what you really want, how to get better. i think i am not ready to be in a relationship in my current state and if i were to be in one it would be toxic and harmful for both parties. i have lots to work on before i can be in one (aside from the 0 interest) in a healthy way.
anonymous · 19d
you post a lot about mental health and sadness and you have posted about this for years. but i always wonder, what makes you happy or brings you peace? if it’s okay can u please list some things in ur day to day life that bring u happiness or peace :)) im on ur side and i like your posts they give awareness and i relate to them a lot :D
i started posting ab mental health primarily i think start of 2024 cuz prior to that my main was a league account lol. so it’s been about 2.5 years which doesn’t feel that long but is also a decent time to think about. i think i am happy when i get to go to the gym and see my friends. i also enjoy making food for others and seeing them enjoy it. i think doing something for others and seeing them happy makes me happy. my day to day life is very routine and what makes me happy is working out, but i’m not sure if it’s more the distraction i’m seeking. i’ve been recently trying to show up even when i feel bad to just socialize if anything which can help. i’ve been struggling to get back into my old hobbies which i enjoyed but it’s in the back of my mind to try to find joy in them again. thank you for the support <3
anonymous · 20d
I’m sure so many have said so but I relate to a lot of your tweets. Or at least hit close to home. Everyone’s situation is different. I hate feeling like shit and sad all the time. Hope things work out for you stranger
anonymous · 22d
G'day.
If you weren't able to remember those depressive years of 8-15 or even aim for any memories that have caused depressive symptoms, do you think you'd be better off or are you the type to feel that even though they were bad, that they molded you into the person you are now and you're okay with that?
I'm always curious to hear people's answers that have their memory intact of their past.
anonymous · 20d
why do u continue to pollute my feed with your posts (when i dont follow you or interact with you) why cant you just end it all? yes you are all those things you say you are so please do the world a favor and do it already?
anonymous · 29d
oh i see. i think the drug addicts comparison was a good one, so its kinda js a mechanism of trying to feel better like self harm. i have never really seriously self harmed myself either so that to me is also kinda unknown but ive seen a lotta my irl friends dealing with self harming behaviors. it always just scared me too much to try my parents were super self destructive and kinda traumatized me so ive never done anything bad to my own body because i know how bad it can become.
when you say you want to be as small as possible bc u feel like a burden does that mean the ed issues maybe stem from the prexisting mental health issues? or do you think conversely a lotta your mental health issues stemmed from ed. or is it maybe a whole other independent issue that just relates to self image. sorry maybe this doesnt make sense.
also whats bp subtype? and another question sorry if this is insensitive but how do people with eds deal with getting hungry. like if you get super hungry dont you just want to eat some food 😭.
im really glad i was able to introduce a new perspective ab ur friend, even thou i was saying stuff like how peoples definitions of best friend can vary she probably sees you as her #1 best friend if shes calling you that. i mean best friend kinda implies it lol. and theres nothing wrong with romanticizing the idea of having a best friend i mean bruh who doesnt want to have a #1 friend they can rely on.
i hope ur week gets better, respect for always trying and hanging in there. depressed individuals need to get more credit for the small efforts of trying to do better behind the scenes its very mentally draining . everyone always looks at depressed people like why cant you js get better you havent even changed but its like trying to push a ball up a hill and keep falling down that doesnt mean its not exhausting just because you havent gone anywhere. so big respect for hanging in there .
anyways if you did want to dm my twitters @hwbrnfj, sorry if its a weird alt looking acct (it is) 💀 this is genuinely just some random google account ive been logged into on my phone that i mashed my keyboard for the username but my other account im on my laptop is like totally doxxable. im going to make another comment here incase you dont wanna dm and just wanna reply normally without replying to this one ill just type something like "reply to this one instead". anyways stay strong and hope ur week improves.
i know i was rly depressed since i was like 8-9 and then realized what depression was but i always thought i was faking it. my family was going thru a lot at this time so i just pretended like i was fine & never said anything bc didn’t want to burden them but this obv got worse & worse bc i was internalizing everything & my home life was pretty bad. i unknowingly started doing ed stuff when i was like 14-15 which led to full on ed so i think it def has something to do with feeling like a burden. i know for me i have ocd tendencies which is related to my ed rituals etc.
bp= binge purge subtype. i’m not going to explain specifically but you can search for it but it’s pretty disturbing so tw. & for me tbh j don’t get hungry bc my hunger cues are so messed up but even if i was depending on stuff i wouldn’t want to eat bc it’s like a fear of food. maybe think of it like how ppl with a fear of the dark logically knows “the dark” can’t hurt them but they are still scared. & i don’t rly think u can understand it unless you’ve gone through it but again eds are frequently about fear of gaining weight = fear of food = dgaf ab hunger
i can’t dm you but i have dms on if you want to ask me stuff. i hope u have a good week too
anonymous · 1mo
hello. how was ur week.
i saw ur twt about ur feelings about ur best friend. i think that its not always great to aim for exclusivity or worrying about always being first priority in friendships because it can be hurtful. like your friend might not even see the term best friend in the way you do and might just throw the word around (possibly maybe not idk). and theres def some people in this world like you who value strong one on one friendships like that and some people who like having a ton of surface level friends etc so its not like everyones the same socially. i think finding a true best friend is unfortunately just requires someone of a similar mindset who builds deeper relationships
But anyways, you said you were upset because she seems to talk to you about other friends but not to her other friends ab you. But like let me just ask if shes your best friend wouldnt it make sense shes more comfortable to talk to you about everything and hence other people so yk about them but she doesnt go yap to her random coworkers and other friends about that kinda stuff and so they dont know ab you ? idk this was what i thought could seem logical. you maybe are overthinking this idk. i know for sure id talk to my closer friends about the happenings in my life more than id tell less close friends, and so my close friends could end up knowing who people are but those people dont know who they are. if you get what im saying. i dont actually know anything tho im just guessing
also that friend you had conflict with is so weird man. just block him and tell him to f off 😭 you gotta to just stand up for yourself bruh theres some weird people out there. dontt get scared get angry like fuck that guy for being a weirdo. ok easier said than done but like try not to let it cause you long lasting anxiety he cant do anything to you sometimesnits easiee to get pissed instead of anxious.
on the whole friend topic, like real talk, its ok to not have friends or be alone sometimes. theres no problem being alone and i think once people figure that out it brings bit more peace to life. humans are naturally social creaturs thou so its understandable to seek interaction. but youre not a loser or a bad person if you lose a friend. its just like it is what it is .
i have a question today and its about ed. if u dont wanna answer just ignore it. ill preface by saying although i relate to a lot of issues you talk ab on twt i dont know anything bout ed so sry if im being insensitive i just wanted to learn a bit more about it cos i actually see lotta people struggle with it with mental health issues. from what i understand it comes in like a lotta differwnt forms but it can be like a fear of gaining weight or trying to lose weight. body image anxiety fear etc. If one with an eating disorder logically knows they are at a healthy weight/bmi, and knows that it is unhealthy to push it further, what causes then to do so? is it just intense fear and anxiety? I know such tendencies can be developed early in life from trauma etc and maybe linked to OCD. is it just natural like its hard to resist, say someone with a rly bad ed just told themselves its time to eat X amt of food per day which was calculated to be a healthy amt would it be impossible to follow? and do they logically know that they might be damaging their health but are forced to do so because negative emotions are causing then to? I guess another way to phrase it is do a lot if people sufferinf from ed desire to be healthy but cannot or is it more like they donr care about being healthy at all. Does the gym/working out also come into play if the goal is to lose weight? Sorry if this doesnt make sense.
Anyways sorry for the long text block again. One more question do you read any manga and whats ur fav if you do. Stay strong!
hello i recognize ur writing style. if u want to dm me its kinda lengthy to talk ab the ed stuff. u can respond with ur @ i will open dms for a little bit i wont answer ur @ comment if u do obv. if you don’t want to that’s ok.
- my week has been pretty bad tbh but im hoping it gets better. i am not doing well but i am trying -i agree with ur points ab the bf. i think i just have never had one reciprocated & maybe i romanticized it. i am def just Wanting it so bad & being insecure & in my own head& im also a very anxious person in terms of relationships
- never thought about like that. to your point the friends who don’t remember my name were ppl she’s told me she wasn’t super close with/ had just got to know better recently. it’s a very good point and i appreciate u for bringing that perspective here. i think u honestly may be right…like why would i go into details ab my close friends lives to newer or less close friends in that way…this feeling def stems from my insecurities -it’s finally over i think. my friend he’s been bothering told him to leave us alone & he hasn’t reached out since & is keeping his distance. he has seemed petty & wanting to prolong things which is why it kept going on but i Hope that was it -ed: there’s a few types & levels so it’s not as simple to just summarize, but for many they have an ocd type level of desire for control & fear of gaining weight. also comes down to insecurity too like u hate how u look so much you’re willing to do xyz kinda like a way of self harm i suppose or way to control/seem in control (spoiler u are not in control 💀). for me personally i know exactly what im doing & most ppl who have an ed are acutely aware almost like a professional in terms of knowledge of nutrition & diet bc u hyperfixate on it kinda like an addiction, so i know what im doing & where im at is unhealthy but i guess i just want to be as small as possible bc i feel like a burden & take up too much space that idc the means to get there. u can compare it to drug addicts bc they Know what they’re doing & it’s bad for them but they keep doing it bc it’s like a high so most ppl with an ed don’t want to be healthy Looking perhaps, maybe healthy so they don’t get the bad symptoms, but generally it’s a distorted image of self leading one to go to extreme measures to achieve their desired look. exercise addiction is usually seen in bp subtype or bulimia or orthorexia as a way to “punish” or cancel out calories consumed
i haven’t read any manga recently but ive read lots of manhwa/webtoons. leviathan was pretty good & who made me a princess