anonymous · 29d
oh i see. i think the drug addicts comparison was a good one, so its kinda js a mechanism of trying to feel better like self harm. i have never really seriously self harmed myself either so that to me is also kinda unknown but ive seen a lotta my irl friends dealing with self harming behaviors. it always just scared me too much to try my parents were super self destructive and kinda traumatized me so ive never done anything bad to my own body because i know how bad it can become.
when you say you want to be as small as possible bc u feel like a burden does that mean the ed issues maybe stem from the prexisting mental health issues? or do you think conversely a lotta your mental health issues stemmed from ed. or is it maybe a whole other independent issue that just relates to self image. sorry maybe this doesnt make sense.
also whats bp subtype? and another question sorry if this is insensitive but how do people with eds deal with getting hungry. like if you get super hungry dont you just want to eat some food 😭.
im really glad i was able to introduce a new perspective ab ur friend, even thou i was saying stuff like how peoples definitions of best friend can vary she probably sees you as her #1 best friend if shes calling you that. i mean best friend kinda implies it lol. and theres nothing wrong with romanticizing the idea of having a best friend i mean bruh who doesnt want to have a #1 friend they can rely on.
i hope ur week gets better, respect for always trying and hanging in there. depressed individuals need to get more credit for the small efforts of trying to do better behind the scenes its very mentally draining . everyone always looks at depressed people like why cant you js get better you havent even changed but its like trying to push a ball up a hill and keep falling down that doesnt mean its not exhausting just because you havent gone anywhere. so big respect for hanging in there .
anyways if you did want to dm my twitters @hwbrnfj, sorry if its a weird alt looking acct (it is) 💀 this is genuinely just some random google account ive been logged into on my phone that i mashed my keyboard for the username but my other account im on my laptop is like totally doxxable. im going to make another comment here incase you dont wanna dm and just wanna reply normally without replying to this one ill just type something like "reply to this one instead". anyways stay strong and hope ur week improves.
i know i was rly depressed since i was like 8-9 and then realized what depression was but i always thought i was faking it. my family was going thru a lot at this time so i just pretended like i was fine & never said anything bc didn’t want to burden them but this obv got worse & worse bc i was internalizing everything & my home life was pretty bad. i unknowingly started doing ed stuff when i was like 14-15 which led to full on ed so i think it def has something to do with feeling like a burden. i know for me i have ocd tendencies which is related to my ed rituals etc.
bp= binge purge subtype. i’m not going to explain specifically but you can search for it but it’s pretty disturbing so tw. & for me tbh j don’t get hungry bc my hunger cues are so messed up but even if i was depending on stuff i wouldn’t want to eat bc it’s like a fear of food. maybe think of it like how ppl with a fear of the dark logically knows “the dark” can’t hurt them but they are still scared. & i don’t rly think u can understand it unless you’ve gone through it but again eds are frequently about fear of gaining weight = fear of food = dgaf ab hunger
i can’t dm you but i have dms on if you want to ask me stuff. i hope u have a good week too
