she/it. Love as thou wilt. Trans woman pushing 40, ex-IT professional, eternally tired, Domina, caregiver, sadist, violence doll, educator. I wear a lot of hats and play far too many rhythm games.
512
Anon · 2mo
Which gear do you recommend for people getting into kink and BDSM? Also what should be in a first aid kit for sessions?
This is an awesome question! So, it depends on kink but I'm going to talk about impact play starting kits, and then I'll talk about first aid.
First things first: Do not buy sex shop implements unless the sex shop specializes in BDSM. They are not made for heavy play and I have seen them break and even splinter in ways that are clear that they are poorly-made. My recommendation is to start small and practice with a smaller set of implements before working up to having any kind of big collection. If you don't have any local implement-makers or don't know if you want something custom right off the bat, Etsy is generally a great place to look, surprisingly enough! I have a simple Florentine set of floggers that I got from Etsy to replace some that I gave away and they're still in my main toolbag even now.
My starting toolkit recommendation would include:
* One leather/TPU flogger, for "core play" - the main part of your impact
* One light cloth flogger for warmup, hard hitting, and sensation play. You can also use a very light leather strap flogger, but be careful how hard you swing it because after a certain point it'll go from sensation/warmup to stingy
* One paddle, preferably some type of treated wood instead of something like acrylic. Start with a larger surface area one if you can - this will let you spread out the pain better, and avoid fully leather paddles early on just to care for it better
* If you want a little sting in your scene, look into a riding crop. If you can, just get one from some kind of supply store or anywhere that serves equestrian hobbyists. Sting takes more time to learn how to administer versus thud, so you'll want extra time training with this one!
* A kitchen-grade meat tenderizer, honestly! You don't need to use it very hard, but it can be a great tool to get the blood moving under the skin for warmup and leave some darker bruises. And yes, you can use both the smooth and pointed sides just fine.
* Rope is not my personal forte but it is sage's so they are helping with this one: STAY AWAY FROM COTTON ROPE for beginners since it can tighten unexpectedly under greater pressure. Nylon is a very simple and standard first choice. If you buy rope, you MUST MUST MUST also buy a real pair of safety shears!!!
Now onto a good first aid kit coverage. Not all of this may apply to all of your particular needs, obviously fill the needs you see as you go and your toolkit gets bigger, but this is a great little first response bag for starting out:
* Bandages, gauze, skin tape (MAKE SURE you include adhesive and first aid-related allergies in negotiations!!!)
* Some kind of saline wound wash
* Rubbing alcohol for disinfection, recommend a small bottle and maybe also a spray bottle
* Super glue or butterfly bandages, just in case, even if you don't play with sharps
* Instant ice packs
* Vitamin E oil, for aftercare skin treatment
* Water and dense, caloric/nutrient-full snacks for any blood sugar crashes or just aftercare
* Safety shears - yes, even if you don't play with rope, you should have some, but no safety shears with rope is about the deepest red flag possible!!!
If anon (or anyone) has any extra questions or wants me to expand on any of this, my DMs are always open!!
Lenna 💛🩸 · 2mo · Pinned
Anon · 1mo
What made you love the first Guild Wars?
Part of it was that the world was just beautiful! I think the other part was that it wasn't fully a MMO, it just felt and played different, and the restriction of hotbars to only a few skills definitely gave it this fun deckbuilder-y quality and made build experimentation way more fun. GW2 still of course does this, but it felt like the scope changed so much and it became too mired in its own systems. I bet I could like it if I gave it a really earnest shot, but it's just not the same for me there.
Telv · 1mo
Since buying a canoe oar from Home Depot came up, what are some other items from hardware stores or other unexpected places you can use for kink play?
Knee and elbow pads from the sports section are nice for floor activities for example
Oh, so the canoe paddle came from West Marine, actually!
But there are tons of things that you can get! Riding crops at equestrian/farm supply stores like Tractor Supply are some of the best you can buy for kink, and Home Depot is great for chains, locks, even some kinds of rope! Body pads are nice from sports places, but I prefer just getting floor mats for primal/pummelling play, it's a lot safer and less restricting!
Anon · 2mo
Which gear do you recommend for people getting into kink and BDSM? Also what should be in a first aid kit for sessions?
This is an awesome question! So, it depends on kink but I'm going to talk about impact play starting kits, and then I'll talk about first aid.
First things first: Do not buy sex shop implements unless the sex shop specializes in BDSM. They are not made for heavy play and I have seen them break and even splinter in ways that are clear that they are poorly-made. My recommendation is to start small and practice with a smaller set of implements before working up to having any kind of big collection. If you don't have any local implement-makers or don't know if you want something custom right off the bat, Etsy is generally a great place to look, surprisingly enough! I have a simple Florentine set of floggers that I got from Etsy to replace some that I gave away and they're still in my main toolbag even now.
My starting toolkit recommendation would include:
* One leather/TPU flogger, for "core play" - the main part of your impact
* One light cloth flogger for warmup, hard hitting, and sensation play. You can also use a very light leather strap flogger, but be careful how hard you swing it because after a certain point it'll go from sensation/warmup to stingy
* One paddle, preferably some type of treated wood instead of something like acrylic. Start with a larger surface area one if you can - this will let you spread out the pain better, and avoid fully leather paddles early on just to care for it better
* If you want a little sting in your scene, look into a riding crop. If you can, just get one from some kind of supply store or anywhere that serves equestrian hobbyists. Sting takes more time to learn how to administer versus thud, so you'll want extra time training with this one!
* A kitchen-grade meat tenderizer, honestly! You don't need to use it very hard, but it can be a great tool to get the blood moving under the skin for warmup and leave some darker bruises. And yes, you can use both the smooth and pointed sides just fine.
* Rope is not my personal forte but it is sage's so they are helping with this one: STAY AWAY FROM COTTON ROPE for beginners since it can tighten unexpectedly under greater pressure. Nylon is a very simple and standard first choice. If you buy rope, you MUST MUST MUST also buy a real pair of safety shears!!!
Now onto a good first aid kit coverage. Not all of this may apply to all of your particular needs, obviously fill the needs you see as you go and your toolkit gets bigger, but this is a great little first response bag for starting out:
* Bandages, gauze, skin tape (MAKE SURE you include adhesive and first aid-related allergies in negotiations!!!)
* Some kind of saline wound wash
* Rubbing alcohol for disinfection, recommend a small bottle and maybe also a spray bottle
* Super glue or butterfly bandages, just in case, even if you don't play with sharps
* Instant ice packs
* Vitamin E oil, for aftercare skin treatment
* Water and dense, caloric/nutrient-full snacks for any blood sugar crashes or just aftercare
* Safety shears - yes, even if you don't play with rope, you should have some, but no safety shears with rope is about the deepest red flag possible!!!
If anon (or anyone) has any extra questions or wants me to expand on any of this, my DMs are always open!!
Lenna 💛🩸 · 2mo · Pinned
Anon · 2mo
Thoughts on "dombreaking" play?
It isn't my sort of thing personally but I've seen it done well and it's awesome! Especially good if you have someone who is a sort of "unwanted assigned Domme" who really wants to be switchier and have more experiences in that sense paired with the right kind of person who can do that in a natural-feeling way.
Anon · 2mo
What's your favorite track from the Void Stranger OST? (or tracks, i know how hard it can be to choose a single favorite sometimes)
Other than a couple tracks that I’ll leave out that are big spoilers, it’s gotta be “Void Symphony” — still hits hard even if it’s the first full track in the game — and “Lax Lullaby”.
Anon · 2mo
What kind of subs do you like? Do you have any sort of requirements? Like, do you like domestic service subs that cook and clean for you and get rewarded for good service? Or bratty subs you can punish? What would your ideal sub be like?
My speciality as a Domme is definitely obedience training and domestic service, 100%. When it comes to bratty s-types, I adore them and absolutely can work with that! But yeah I typically don’t do “funishment”. To Me, there is punishment and there is correction. And my punitive methods are very old-school.
Anon · 2mo
Ever tried LED drumsticks for your rhythm impactplay? Or UV reactive gears and body paint
Oh not only have I tried LED drumsticks for impact but it’s a key part of my routine!! I should get some pics and video of that soon…
Anon · 2mo
Have you ever accidentally tossed a toy across the room like an unsecured Wii remote and if yes how did you salvage that situation?
TOSSED a toy??? Oh god lmao I have SHOT a toy across the room before if we're talking about insertables, hahaha. But whether it's kink/impact or sex, honestly I don't play with people that I can't laugh shit off with. This is supposed to be fun, yknow? If I can't be a little silly with it and I actively have to "salvage" it - something I've never had to do yet - then I might be with the wrong company.
Now on the other hand, if we're talking about impact, and I'm mid-scene at a dungeon or party and I have lost or thrown an implement by mistake, I'll usually just switch it up on the fly and keep going. I've been playing for long enough to handle slip-ups like that, and if I'm ever scening at a dungeon or sensitive place where I have to be concerned about the people around me, I usually have a spotter, since there's an audience and other players and all other manner of stuff going on, and I want to stay in that moment very closely. So there are definitely ways to manage it when it's not a private, at-home thing!
Anon · 2mo
I saw your post about being a sadist, and it reminded me of something I wondered: what does the dom get out of impact play? ie, what attracts you to that kind of play, what about it do you enjoy? (I'm a sub so I understand the other end of it, but I've never really understood the other perspective)
For impact play specifically? Well this is of course gonna differ for everyone but there's a TON of amazing energy exchange that I get from giving pain that is desired. I probably don't need to say it but controlled pain makes our body do some really weird things and activates a wild chemical cocktail for many people, so being able to give someone that 'pain high' is incredibly fun for me, as well as seeing and teasing out their reactions. I also just really like it for its own sake! Bruises and welts are beautiful aesthetically, and just the feeling of landing blows on someone is definitely a huge adrenaline spike. If I'm in a dungeon or other semi-public place like that, it's also a huge voyeuristic rush, of people watching me give pain and imagine themselves in the situation of the recipient or just enjoying it artistically, especially because I tend to make my own playlists and hit my play bottoms rhythmically (yes, EVEN MY KINK is a rhythm game, lollll!)
Anon · 2mo
What is chemical invasion play? (sounds kinda fun ngl) I could look it up but seeing you talk about this stuff is way more fun đź¤
(CW for unorthodox, high pain-level insertion, and mentions of dubious safeword play, torture play, and food play!)
Chemical invasion play is not easy to plan, but DAMN it's fun! "Invasion" in this case is a bit more literal, it's basically about forcing something inside somebody. In this case, the 'chemical' in question was capsaicin inserted vaginally. I should also mention that THIS IS RACK EDGEPLAY, do not just do this without a lot of extensive research on the chemical/food that you use, all the way down to pH levels!!! So, DO NOT TRY THIS and, PLEASE READ THE CWS BEFORE CONTINUING.
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But anyway! I planned a "big finish" for an old interrogation scene that I got a little bit infamous for back where I used to live, and it was awesome. The scene bottom was tasked to hang on to a password that they created for a flash drive I made, and basically (after a TON of negotiation with a very-long time play partner of course) their ONLY safeword/stop word was to provide that password so I could decrypt the drive. HOURS of impact and simulated torture play didn't cause them to give in, so when I resorted to my last big finish, well, I basically fingered the "victim" with hot sauce. Let me tell you, that worked immediately!! We immediately cooled off and got them into a big room temperature bathtub and after a couple minutes, the pain relaxed and we were able to get them out and immediately into some very long aftercare. I haven't tried it again yet, but I REALLY want to.