This is an awesome question! So, it depends on kink but I'm going to talk about impact play starting kits, and then I'll talk about first aid.

First things first: Do not buy sex shop implements unless the sex shop specializes in BDSM. They are not made for heavy play and I have seen them break and even splinter in ways that are clear that they are poorly-made. My recommendation is to start small and practice with a smaller set of implements before working up to having any kind of big collection. If you don't have any local implement-makers or don't know if you want something custom right off the bat, Etsy is generally a great place to look, surprisingly enough! I have a simple Florentine set of floggers that I got from Etsy to replace some that I gave away and they're still in my main toolbag even now.

My starting toolkit recommendation would include:
* One leather/TPU flogger, for "core play" - the main part of your impact
* One light cloth flogger for warmup, hard hitting, and sensation play. You can also use a very light leather strap flogger, but be careful how hard you swing it because after a certain point it'll go from sensation/warmup to stingy
* One paddle, preferably some type of treated wood instead of something like acrylic. Start with a larger surface area one if you can - this will let you spread out the pain better, and avoid fully leather paddles early on just to care for it better
* If you want a little sting in your scene, look into a riding crop. If you can, just get one from some kind of supply store or anywhere that serves equestrian hobbyists. Sting takes more time to learn how to administer versus thud, so you'll want extra time training with this one!
* A kitchen-grade meat tenderizer, honestly! You don't need to use it very hard, but it can be a great tool to get the blood moving under the skin for warmup and leave some darker bruises. And yes, you can use both the smooth and pointed sides just fine.
* Rope is not my personal forte but it is sage's so they are helping with this one: STAY AWAY FROM COTTON ROPE for beginners since it can tighten unexpectedly under greater pressure. Nylon is a very simple and standard first choice. If you buy rope, you MUST MUST MUST also buy a real pair of safety shears!!!

Now onto a good first aid kit coverage. Not all of this may apply to all of your particular needs, obviously fill the needs you see as you go and your toolkit gets bigger, but this is a great little first response bag for starting out:
* Bandages, gauze, skin tape (MAKE SURE you include adhesive and first aid-related allergies in negotiations!!!)
* Some kind of saline wound wash
* Rubbing alcohol for disinfection, recommend a small bottle and maybe also a spray bottle
* Super glue or butterfly bandages, just in case, even if you don't play with sharps
* Instant ice packs
* Vitamin E oil, for aftercare skin treatment
* Water and dense, caloric/nutrient-full snacks for any blood sugar crashes or just aftercare
* Safety shears - yes, even if you don't play with rope, you should have some, but no safety shears with rope is about the deepest red flag possible!!!

If anon (or anyone) has any extra questions or wants me to expand on any of this, my DMs are always open!!

Hmm, I have not had to wrestle with that in a really long time, so personal advice will be hard to dredge up, BUT it would still be related to the advice I would give anyone which is this: I know this doesn't always make it easier when trauma or anxiety rears its head, but you just have to keep remembering that this is something that you enjoy and that, if applicable, your play partner/s also enjoy. This is something you have sought out. You are putting net happiness and fulfillment into the world, and even if maybe you're participating in a specific kink that can be tricky for you with those sorts of triggers, you're still doing it on your own terms. At the end of the day, you were smart and brave enough to deconstruct your kinks enough to allow yourself to feel them, and you should give yourself credit for that, not kick yourself for it.

Again, this all may be tough to remember when you're in the thick of it, but just try and remember what other kinksters that you respect would tell you here, and what you'd tell them.

When I finally let myself be one. Like, instantly. I was in denial for 12 years, always wondering and cursing why I couldn't be a girl, that wanting to be a girl so bad that it kept you up at night was "a thing that was only for trans women" and completely denying myself the fact that I could just... do it, that I was what I dreamed of being. I flirted with the idea for years and years, and finally, when I let myself just do the tiniest thing and try my new name (which was at the time just a one-n "Lena",) the floodgates opened and I was never looking back just a day later.

Also, I don't know if you're asking this out of curiosity about just myself, or if it's more than that, and I won't presume, but if it IS more than that: You can just be a girl.

It was a gradual process followed by a big deconstruction. For me, I always knew I had different feelings about myself and things that were interesting to me, things that made me feel tingles in certain ways and never really knew how to like, ascribe to anything. I certainly knew about kink in a conceptual way and all that in my late teens, but I heard about munches through a friend of mine at the time innnn I wanna say 2007? And once I started going and hearing terms and processes and rigor put to so many things that made people tick, things that felt esoteric like my mind did, I realized that it was just another thing with structure, and it had an answer. Following that led me to one of the most important discoveries of my life, and a couple years after that I made kink a learning/growth experience every chance I had to get out and do it. I spent some years in a tragic situation shortly after, but once I was back on my feet again I started back up and made every effort to learn more, eventually going to dungeons, which led to private parties, which led to eventually teaching and running classes and my own munch, etc. etc. and yeah, now it's maybe the most important part of me.

I assume just, being outspoken/pugilistic is what you mean here? If so, like, I'm not really trying to change people who aren't going to listen. If somehow it happens - and it has before, but it's not really the goal - that's great. I'm just trying to be a loud voice so other people who see shit happen know they're not alone, because that's just, really important, especially right now. It doesn't really affect me more than seeing heinous shit in communities of people I love does. In fact, it's a little selfish, because doing something about it is the only thing I have personal power over, so it's an overall weight off of me more than anything in most cases. Sometimes I get burned but like, that's the cost of business, and I've still said my piece.

I feel like aftercare for CG/l stuff is very multifaceted, and I can talk about many things that I've seen and also experience for myself, but in the current turbulent days of kink crackdowns and modern-day neo-Puritanism, I'm going to go over a particular one first:

Caregivers and littles/middles: PLEASE talk with your play partners if they are experiencing guilt right now with such a heavy public pursuit on ageplayers. Nowadays more than ever it seems that even other so-called kinksters are SO quick to horribly wrongfully associate those behaviors with pedophilia, and please identify if this is a guilt-bringer for you or yours and if you might need gentle support and aftercare for this unique issue, even if you participate in non-sexual ageplay.

That being said, I'll identify some other aftercare options and sessions here, both for the Caregiver and the little/middle. Most of these are fairly common types of aftercare for most scenes but I'll try and expand on them for CG/l specifically:

• Immediate care - If any immediate care (such as a post-Red signal debrief) or first aid, etc, is needed, tend to it first before any of the adrenaline wears off, if possible and if it would not affect your ability to do so. Take stock of both of your bodies and minds and look at anything first that is flashing a bright red in there.

• Before doing ANY of the following steps (and ideally before the entire scene - the majority of this should be in negotiation) make sure anything you're about to do for aftercare is wanted. Some of this is perfect for aftercare for some, just as much as some of it is complete anathema that will cause active issues. If you are the type who just wants to be left alone and needs nothing, THAT IS YOUR AFTERCARE too - don't neglect it or think you 'need' to do something more, just make sure ahead of time that works for your play partner too!

• Dynamic comfort - make sure your Caregiver understands that they did a good job, and they satisfied the things that you seek out ageplay for. Tell them about the good feelings that you experienced while in Their care, and why you experienced those feelings. From the other side of the slash, reinforce how much You love taking care of Your little, what about it makes you happy, and what that happiness does to Your emotions or mentality.

• Sensory comfort - Make sure you're physically comfortable, and assist your play partner if you can in making that comfort happen. Before the scene, identify textures or places that make you feel very physically comfortable.

• Food/drink comfort - Make or get food and drink that you like! Prep it in advance if you can. Try and focus on Y/your comfort foods or drinks, or ones that can replenish nutrients and give you what your body needs if your scene was physical or sexual at all. This can help mellow out any lingering adrenaline if any is present, or simply balance or restore your mood/body.

• Affirmation - I'm categorizing this differently from dynamic comfort, since it refers to particular topics: If funishment/punishment or bratting (or anything that could be construed as a neutral negative feeling but is actually part of the fulfillment of your kink) was involved during your scene, bring those feelings to neutral, even if you know that Y/your play partner rationally knows why those things were done. A simple "You did fantastic, of course, the punishment was just for fun, you're always so good to me" or "Thank You for letting me act out and putting me in my place, of course I'm not mad at you for real, but it felt so nice to be chastised" can really stick in the mind positively, both now and later as a thinking trap if/when you experience any mental drop.

And speaking of drop, your aftercare should extend past just immediately after your scene! Some people can experience physical or mental drop a few days after a scene, some can get them immediately, so exercise caution and talk about common experiences in the past to get ahead of these points, but also recognize that they can change from scene to scene, even in experienced players!!

To simplify and actually answer your question for real, this is what I particularly find myself needing during aftercare:
* To be cuddled up with, if possible, and reminded that I'm a good Mommy and that My s-type enjoyed their time with Me
* To be reminded that My little enjoyed everything and it fit their kinks well, even/especially if I was mean during the scene
* To have a lot of water and then a warm drink, like coffee or tea, and then if possible, some greasy food
* To just debrief about the scene a tiny bit and have us both point out things that we really enjoyed

I know this one was a book and you probably get some of the things in here already, but hopefully for those that didn't it gave some good context!

Oh no you're absolutely fine!! Happy to at least try and answer but truly it's hard to frame my mindset around that one, haha, especially because "culturally common" can look a lot different from the actual data that's been collected by culture since a lot of people are unwilling or unfamiliar enough to admit/do the work to compartmentalize that they have certain kinks.

But I digress!! Splitting hairs aside, I practically collect kinks, so I likely have a lot of the maybe more colloquially common ones out there. 🤣 Love pretty much anything that involves not 'commonly' used parts of the body, so foot kink is definitely there. Love being a giver in a praise kink situation. I'm 100% a full-on voyeur and exhibitionist (and one that I argue a lot of people have but don't know the term for - I'm also a candaulist! I love sharing my play partners with other people, whether it's photos, text, or even their body itself.) Love a breeding kink, everything about it. Monster kink, lactation kink - honestly it's probably easier to figure out what I DON'T like that's more common!

Honestly the only big 'common' kinks that I don't personally indulge in (though the latter is something I absolutely LOVE to watch) would be like, most sensory play or rope play. I like sensory play but definitely not in the way that you see commonly portrayed - my sensory play is more sensory tricking for things like torture scenes. And while my manual dexterity is good, I am uniquely awful at 3D spatial reasoning, so rope is really difficult for me.

Absolutely I have some tips for this! Find the parts in their middle self that you both enjoy, identify those together, and really drill them down into base components.

For instance: Maybe your middle likes to act out so they get guidance because maybe that guidance feels very warm and loving and helps put them on a path for their day? Explain it like that and find a way to just seek that part out without necessarily going through a full ageplay scene.

It's all about that, there is no "traditional" kink, as much as other kinksters want to think there is. What your process as a Caregiver looks like is likely going to be entirely separate from what my process as one looks like, and that's great! It's sort of like my last answer, but the best way to identify and drill down your or their kink is to isolate the kink up until the moment that the kinkster feels good, identify WHY the kinkster feels good, and look for options to fulfill that and remove everything that gets in the way of it. Maybe how this comes out looks like a "traditional" (again, massive air quotes, tradition in kink is a myth) Caregiver relationship, and maybe it morphs into something entirely different or something completely unique to you!

I will take some of what I have learned in teaching classes on poly to answer this one, too:

OK, so you know kink, right? You've been in it for a while and it's something that's important to you? Well, what's one of the central tenets of kink? The thing that separates practicing kink from just an interest, right? It's communication. If you've established a baseline already, I don't know from which side of the slash you're approaching it on, but your D-type/s-type deserves to know what you're feeling. How else can they share in the joy with you if they don't, right? If you've confided in your partner already, the hardest part is done! I know it's easier said than done, but if you keep in mind that one of the biggest joys of kink is performing it with people that revel in it with you, I hope it makes things a little bit easier.

I know this may be a sorta generic and maybe common answer, but I can go into the mindset even a little deeper and hopefully it'll help:

What do you enjoy about that side of your kink? What are you feeling when you're feeling wanty and want that time with your partner? Does your partner understand why it is you enjoy what you enjoy? Because you should share those feelings directly, both in general and when the wanty feeling strikes. This might allow your other side of the slash to read your body language or your temperment and help perform a little bit of anticipatory service on it. Really drill down with them into why you enjoy it if you can, be open and vulnerable, say, "it allows me to X and that's important to me because in my daily life, I can't do Y, or Y feeling can't be fulfilled," and that will help establish maybe a more solid baseline for you.

Again, I don't know which side of the dynamic you're on, but personally from my own experience, there is nothing that makes me happier than hearing a play partner confide in me when they have a unique feeling they want to feel in their life and they want to experience it through play. It's playing toys! Don't deny yourself or your partner from playing toys! It's a hellworld out there enough as it is, you and your partner deserve to feel good. ^^