Anonymous Coward · 4d
a humble take on transfem cy here… you say there’s no universe where cy would ever aspire to be a woman, but what if it wasn’t aspiration? i imagine a “born in the wrong body/i always knew i was a girl” type of narrative could work for transfem cy? i mean, i know even then realistically this cy would not have transitioned to a woman and would instead bury her girlhood so deep inside where she doesn’t have to think about it (this is where a “clinging to masculinity as a defense mechanism (a la jax tadc)” narrative may come in), yet would be haunted with soul-crushing dysphoria anyways, likely for the rest of her life, as the losses of “lowering” herself into womanhood in her eyes are far more immense than the gains of full self-actualization.
kink-wise performing masculinity for scenes with lynn, being touched, would bring her no satisfaction and any disgust she forces herself to choke down, but she’d find her mood lightening up at fixating on lynn’s pleasure. she’d probably be happier being a stone top dom like cis thea… but then again, not like she’d get to Realize any of that.
in thinking about this, i have to wonder the the reason transfem cy doesn’t exist, not just because it’s ooc, but because it would be a bummer AU all-round? where cis thea can grow to be content as thea, transfem thea can never be happy because she never gets to be thea; she would not have the capacity to even begin to unravel the truth of herself? if the denial+dysphoria combo kills cy earlier, it dooms lynn too because she’ll just follow right after. possibly lynn herself might not even know the truth. this probably wouldn’t be satisfying, and i’m making myself sad over it… but still interesting to think about how the au would play out via following cy’s Universal guidelines and how tfem cy would compare to cis/transmasc cy and cis thea nonetheless. it’s funny, in a really sad fucked up way, that it’d be consistent with the fact any version of fem!cy would be miserable because of her Womanhood, and on top of that neither version of thea has the stomach to transition.
I just can't fathom a version of Cy that enjoys being feminine in any way other than by resignation at it being imposed by genetics. There is no "her girlhood", no yearning for a feminine body, no feminine social envy. For the very same reason cis Thea is miserable because she desperately wishes she'd been born in another body, the reverse is inconceivable.
Lynn/Eden are more flexible. There's a duality in them that lends itself to transformation and transgression more. I can see transfem Lynn and transmasc Eden with striking clarity. In canon, Cy himself remarks that Lynn, his cis wife, has "the BDSM tastes of a gay man". There's material to work with here. But it's not the same for Cy.
While I understand I have a bunch of transfem readers who love Cy and relate to him and like to project onto him, a "transfem Cy" is just not Cy. That is a different character, and you can make her your OC if you want, but she stops being Cy the very moment she yearns for womanhood, because it is at odds with who Cy is at his core. And I just can't work with something that feels extremely OOC to me. So by all means, make your own version! Make your own blorbo!
