For a couple of different reasons, bc it’s easier to read I’ll just make some bullet points, even though that might seem kinda cold and mechanical anyways.
1. I’ve been on hqtwt since 2020 and I’ve got the feeling now that I’ve exhausted my own creativity when it comes to sakuatsu, I’ve actually felt that way for some years already, so it kinda became more of a product that I could/should deliver more than me actually feeling inspired to draw - that doesn’t mean I didn’t necessarily enjoy making those drawings, it’s just very different from how I started out, every drawing I did was exciting and I kept getting new ideas and scenarios I wanted to explore.
2. Also another thing about being in the same fandom for so long, since hq ended in 2020 it’s kinda inevitable that fans will talk about the same things, but at this point I’ve seen people come up with “new” headcanons for some cycles, like every other year there will be a new influx of fans, I mean that’s great and obviously being new in a fandom means you will create things that’s probably been created before, but when I’ve already had the same conversations years ago I sometimes get a little bored.
3. This one kinda ties back to the two previous points, I don’t really talk that much to ppl on twt or have that many friends on there anymore, which is fine, but I just remember how many interesting conversations and how much creativity and excitement I experienced in the beginning bc it was me and my new friends all creating a bunch of stories and art together and it was great. So yeah my friend group has left twt and I don’t think I have the same passion as newer fans so it kinda leaves me in like a fandom limbo I feel like.
4. I want to get into art school, and where I’m from it’s very difficult to get, we only have 3 academies of art, so it’s very competitive. To get into art school u will need a portfolio, and that should be fairly unique and original and should also contain different mediums of art. I find it difficult to draw anything other than fanart when I have my acc, it’s like every time i want to draw I have this nagging feeling that I should create fanart bc I’ve been neglecting my acc, which is ridiculous and comes entirely from some stupid place inside my head - but I feel like it’s kinda holding me back from creating other art and exploring different things, and the thing is, I’ve for a long time tried to branch out while still having my acc, but it’s somehow impossible for me to make art for myself only and I keep getting the feeling that I have a responsibility to post on dictsumu which k obviously don’t. So it’s also to kind of trick my brain into making art for my portfolio, bc it obviously doesn’t want to cooperate with me.

Of course it’s bittersweet to close dictsumu but I also feel like it’s kinda inevitable - these past couple of years doing hq fanart I’ve grown so much as an artist and I definitely owe my life to furudate and atsumu haha, it’s been so inspiring and now I’m at a point where I can’t imagine not doing art ever - but I’ve just gotten to a point where I feel like this account shackles me more than it benefits me, so I’m trying to be kind to myself and closing it, before I get so anxious about it that I delete it like I did with my main art acc some years back, which I kind of regret now.

I hope this made sense, also pls understand that these feelings have nothing to do with anyone on hq twt but it’s more about my relationship to fanart, social media and myself as a whole.

I don’t really talk to people on there like I used to and I’m feeling kind of shackled by social media in general, both in the sense that it’s taking up a lot of my time but also that I somehow feel like I don’t draw for myself but for an audience, and while that can be very rewarding! Seeing ppl liking your art is amazing, but it is sometimes also very exhausting.. but yeah when I got into the hq fandom in 2020 it was exciting and I made a lot of friends, but now that I’ve been on there for so many years it’s like I don’t have anything to contribute with anymore and like I’ve exhausted all my hq ideas - but I might come back some day! I don’t know if I will but I’m just saying it’s a possibility.

I hope you understand that it’s really more about my feelings about social media and my own art than about anything else.