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could i hear you talk about carmine X kieran? dunno if it was a passing fancy for you, but i'm curious!
Those two... were more than a passing fancy, I would say. :3c
I spent a handful of months exploring the territory. Umm, emotionally, mentally, mostly, but still. Played and replayed DLC for them, ruminated a lot... Then developed headcanons, looked at fanart, conceptualized things for my own art... It might take me AGES to actually do but, I would like to write fic of those two someday, as well...
I'm not sure what I could say that is different from Avvy's rambles about them in the past, but. Umm the process of becoming invested in them was quite funny, because I spectated a friend of mine shipping them... and while being a bystander, I remember thinking 💭 that Kieran is quite... unstable, huh.
I guess, based on their initial demeanor, you would think Carmine was the louder personality?? But I saw fleeting screencaps that seemed to have the boy wiling out. Which, was objectively interesting. So I went into the DLC curious to see what was going on there...
... it was more unhinged... than I thought... I GUESS the thing about SGZI, is one expects to find a basic oneeshota situation going on here. Some dark-haired siblings... sure. But then like, they're both kind of like, social flops, umm, pariahs of their town. Not very graceful... these two... A burden unto Mossui. You start to wonder what's lead to them being this way. Why does Kieran cling to Carmine's side, hover behind her like a shadow, yet also whine about being fussed over...? Why is fussy ane so tolerant of mopey otouto... ? Why does he identify with the? Villainized depiction of The Oni and why does he regularly run up a mountain to crawl into a cave...,,.,., It feels like the DLC awkwardly grinds to a halt at times as characters try and teach Kiki about consent and how he can't just have ogerpon. But this makes him like insane or whatever and he can't actually take it. Then you get the second half of the arc which is like . Oh he's really crazy like really really... crazy. Ok. It's odd to see the siblings almost enter a bizarre role reversal, where Carmine is more meek and deferential, and Kiki is taking charge... Umm red flags everywhere... Yabe...
I guess it's kind of entrancing, how much of a 'wreck' this all is. Kieran's breakdowns, quirks, Carmine's clumsiness in contrast with some vanity, a lack of boundaries, everywhere. They don't seem like they're ready to 'grow up' and 'leave town' at all... Which is what I like about them. The game events should be about Kieran making a friend and meeting a mystical pokemon he's always been curious about... but instead he, quickly feels insecure, betrayed, and bitter.
There's of course the legendary line... where he's talking about how protag has everything he 'wants'... 'Even you, sis.' Of course, I love it in JP... ねーちゃんだって!! (For a while I was having fun pulling up various letsplays and seeing how people reacted... One of my favorites is this guy who reads the line and, kind of beffudled, repeats, neechan...? It's very good.)
I'm speaking sloppily, mostly trying to convey my general affection for them. I Think About Them. Now an attempt at more organized thoughts n HCs n whatall...
I believe the situation with their parents is unconfirmed, probably little to no mention whatsoever about them, nothing we can draw conclusions from. [me voice] I can't help but feel as though it was a negligent situation... I like to think that they first had Carmine and made an 'attempt' at parenting, staying with grandparents for advice and support... but then, relied too much on that support, being rather hands-off with her once she could walk and talk. Then Kieran is an unplanned pregnancy, and at that point they are fully checked out. This results in Kieran not really getting much direct attention, not being held or reassured much as a newborn, which leads to him being a very sensitive, easily distressed baby. Crying a lot and being difficult to put to sleep... The sort of high maintenance that jiichan and baachan just cant keep up with.
So from a young age, I think Carmine sees her brother as quite helpless... Basically as far back as she can remember, he's needed to be shushed to sleep and brought all his favorite things to calm down. Yosh yosh... But of course, I like to think that he clung to her immediately, and it made her very easily feel like the Bestest big sisser evar... Add a little praise and encouragement from adults, and you have a Carmine very confident in her abilities. Umm but unlike say a, Mari-chan, I think she also could be mischievous and tease Kieran, purposefully make him cry and whine, be a bit of a bully. It's a particular flavor of the two. It's just endearing how dramatically Kieran will pout, umm has the saddest eyes you ever saw. But you can bring him back from the brink of despair with a lollerpop.🍭 This goes on uninterrupted for years...
It entertains me that Carmine is self-aware enough to say that Kiki has a bit of an 'ego' despite everything. I think she can observe that ego up-close... He's a sore loser...! He wants to impress, which is an interesting paradox because of how quickly he will shrivel over the tiniest thing. Still, he's um, passionate at times, can be stubborn, or seem like he's about to burst. [thinks] like when kittens tremble as they eat meat for the first time...
She always expects him to be clinging, whining, 'a handful', her responsibility.
[becomes haggard trying to word this...] I think Carmine has felt beloved for a lot of her life... Despite the situation with their parents, and the people in the village finding them unruly... I think it's how she manages to feel so confident about her looks, and capability. I think, um, she IS pretty, and Kieran so obviously... adored, fawned over her... It didn't matter much what other kids thought, said... She's also been able to, flip her hair, make teasing comments, boast about herself... and had a little boy, with shiny boo-boo eyes, gazing up at her... clinging to the edge of her dress... Wanting to hold her hand... get a kiss goodnight... It's given her a kind of delusional confidence. But I don't think she asks for 'more' than what she has with him...
I like her position as Briar's assistant, and that she does pretty well in Blueberry. I think of her attendance to this, far-away fancy academy, is Carmine putting in the time to set-up her life, so that she'll always be reliable and stable for Kieran. She's on a steady path... She's not actually wholly prioritizing herself with this, it's moreso about doing what she has to, as the older sibling. Figure she is there under scholarship, and works hard for it... Though erm, not actually there for, any kind of hobknobbing, and not really aiming for a grand position. Always think of her like a TA... Working with a professor and researching pokemon feels like a noble living, not glamorous, yet something valuable, probably pays well... What else... I think her shaking angy hands are cute...
On Kieran's end... I think the world feels filled with insurmountable tasks, without nee-chan plowing the way. Erm, I think he's not good at being... conscious or grateful... for what he has... So he feels very low about himself, and very frustrated with that sense of lowliness. I do think of him as subconsciously suicidal and prone to attention stunts, and that's really what's at the core of his identifying with the Onii and running up the mountain. He feels other, Unwanted, and it must feel relieving to take a physical action about it — endangering self AND receiving the comfort/coddling that is being dragged back home and overseen by nee-chan. There's an itching for, a sense of power as well, I think that's also what's appealing about the onii... The misguided view of ogerpon as something terrorizing is alluring to Kieran. He would like to see himself as something that others wrongly judged... yet holds a kind of menacing potential... With such extreme feelings of patheticness, you'd need to offset it with extreme CONTROL. I think obviously pokemon battles are another way to gain that sensation, and why he wants to prove himself so badly as a competent trainer. I think the, raw technical aspect of battles, training, is very intuitive to Kiki — so it could be his gateway to 'success'.... But prior to the DLC, he's still held back by social deficets, lack of motivation... I don't think he's very cut-out for school...
IMO, his sudden vault into Champion during the Indigo Disk, is a result of Kieran losing anything grounding him. So he can forego any modicum of, self-care, regularity, in favor of going all in with training, battling. This is a guy who is not sleeping, showering, feeding himself hardly. But there's no one to stop him from doing this to himself... Push self to limits! Doing exercises, like running on treadmill... doing crunches... enjoying aching sensations this produces... Enjoying the bite of hunger at times... It's all punishing but rewarding. Mm I think he also swaps tics of, fussing with his hair and touching his hand to mouth, but it just manifests other neurosis... Tapping foot, suddenly jerking and clawing down chest/collarbone (rake fingernails against sharply..) Biting inside of mouth... eyes held wide, twitching, jerking head...
Unwell unwell unwell unwell... scraping by... Though in doing all of this he can become a kind of laser focused battle machine and just claw way to top of school. Kowai. A show of... 'self control', just sharply reinventing himself, changing his demeanor. It's proof of something he's capable of and it's satisfying to see others be shocked by it...
Of course, I think a lot of this is unchecked mental illness and puberty. And ummm he could never really keep this up...
However he crash n burns, it's fun to think about. :3 Before canon events, after, little diverging paths...
For Carmine I think she's quite helpless to watch the Kieran she knew basically 'disappear'... I like to think she's really trying to, cajole him, offer him things, get him to engage with her. Lowering self steadily. Helpless, about it all, it's where nee-chan isn't the strongest... Want to bait you with treats. [sob] Subsequently though I think it's such a good setup for ummm sex... Like Kieran demanding this, with or without words, coming to expect it, and her just buckling. Umm rape is good here... Many dubious things. :) IT'S ALL BEEN BUILDING UP..............!!!!!!!!
[waves hands] And then oh you know... [smiling placidly.....] I also just like to think about horny chicanery and things happening in less loaded context... Or, um, angst, scenarios, where Kieran gets very injured or falls ill due to his mountain adventuring... Your good ole fashioned caretaking... doting, feeding, bathing brudder... Festival times, filled with warm memories... Training pokemon, admiring one another... Mundane things like doing stretches... They're just cute... in many contexts... (^人^)
hi, you are ok with copy yes?
Hello. I've received a few questions related to this topic in the last 24 hours... So I'd like to address a few things, to the best of my ability.
In general, both me and Avvy's policy has been like, 'no need to give us credit, reupload our art wherever, trace, copy if you want' and so on. And it's because we don't really take personal offense to the idea of people being inspired or attached to our work — the nature of art is derivative, inherently... We both can look back at pieces made when younger and, recognize that we were unconsciously copying entire characters/pieces from artists we liked. Without the self awareness of what we were doing even. So I can't help but sympathize about absorbing something uncontrollably, and wanting to emulate it... Or you know, recognizing that there are aspects that are desired, but also things that someone wants to change, how they'd do it differently... I think it's pretty natural to want to do that. And frankly, it just doesn't feel like it's my business if someone out there is doing that...
And uh, it feels like it matters infinitely less when we're talking about, using art as an icon, or for RP, or in a wattpad fic, lol. It's just— yeah sure, whatever, have fun...
There are a handful of things I'd prefer someone not touch — sonas and OCs are quite personal and, it can be troubling to see something taken with almost no alteration... — but well, I still feel like, ultimately I can't 'stop' someone from doing that... I'd prefer it stay out of my line of sight, but if I encounter it, I'll politely turn away... I'm a non-confrontational person, and my art ummm feels like it has a very narrow demographic in the first place, so if there's one or two people out there who see my weird rat drawings and want to take them, well...... That's their decision............
⬆⬆⬆All that being said, I do have limits, so I'd like to be clear about that. Art for personal use and from my personal gallery is one thing, but I can't abide by tracing/copying commissioned art of other people's character's and concepts...! Because it's art that someone paid for, and also, um, obviously, MOST people do not like to be copied...! Just because I feel indifferent about a lot of things, does not mean that applies to my commissioners... And uh, I also, of course, do not wish my art to be used commercially. If you make a profit off of anything I do, that's unpaid labor, like all art theft. I'm always trying to be understanding of other artists and allow them to express their creativity... which is why I don't want someone to feel punished for liking my gallery. But, when money starts being exchanged, it turns me into a stepping stone for someone else's gain...
Unfortunately, I have been informed someone is tracing me and Avvy's work, and selling them as comms, adoptables, and utilizing them in art trades. I'm not comfortable with outing people by name (I don't... like, to cause a stir...) but I figure I'll at least acknowledge that it's happening, and that I do not approve of it. I'd really appreciate it if that person could think about what they are doing, potentially, if they um, care about anything me or Avvy think, feel... (´。_。`)
This really takes things beyond the controlled realm of 'me giving you permission to take inspiration'... involving, way too many unrelated third parties. IDK how to say this tactfully, but I don't know how people would feel about buying reskinned art from Da Feral LoliShota Pervert... Pretty sure Artfight poopoos on incest/lolisho/bestiality etc. I guess I feel quite frustrated at the thought of, detaching from all the baggage I have to carry when I sell my work — ohh to sell my adopts without having to bear the cross of being nastay freak not allowed on most websites...! Hshfhfhs...
Just my message to you all, when you do this kind of thing, you're digging yourself a grave... and just hoping you never get caught. I would encourage you to think about how this effects others, not even just me...
Anyways... I hope that gets it across... Trace my squirrels for personal enjoyment, not social or financial gain. Thanks.
aughh your ralsei and kris art.... so so warm and happy in my heart, i adore how your lightworld version of azzy too. wonderful, wonderful
(about the sunnymari art) i might be blind, but i can't find a sunnymari log on your pixiv! gomen if i'm just not looking correctly.. ^^
Would you be okay with doing a commission for a ship that is m/m in it's source, but has been genderbended to be m/f? I know you've dabbled in genderbending but didn't know if it was different for ships that are not your own!
It would be fine if it were a genderbend, no real issues, whether or not I would do it would boil down to the designs being something I can interpret. (My usual preference for smaller, stylized humanoids, and all that.)
I would also request that the reference for genderbend be provided, because otherwise I would have to make a design from thin air... Errr, but there's a grey area, like, if we're talking a shota that is very feminine and Basically a girl, that's like... [laughs] Well you know, it's own territory I Guess... I would draw it as is, but like 👉👌... lol... All subjective I know but just trying to give people an idea of what's chill. You walk into the room with a shota like. Pico. and I won't ask questions... lol
do you have an archive of your sunnymari art? i swear theres some
pieces of yours i cant find anymore..!! (ik you sometimes get confused with avvy so i'll clarify i know its your art i'm looking for and not hers lol)
maybe interested in this while sick :o) fun to me, maybe nothing here for you but i think theyre cute https://beastieball.info/beastiepedia/
I see why you would offer such a thing, and I feel bad because it seems the person put a lot of effort into this project, but sadly this design sensibility is not... quite... right, to me. Too fiddly, or just doesn't connect with me, every design that is Almost appealing still feels like it needs to be smoothed out a bit more to want to interface with it... Makes me think — unfortunately what I love about pokemon and certain digimon is the simple cuteness. (._.`) I feel like a bestiary like this cannot make something as cute as... bellsprout... shuppet... salamon... Nnot consistently, like for every 20 designs there's maybe one that's Kinda Cute... The other issue is it doesn't paint a visualization of a world I want to explore.
*gently turns this away...*
could you tell me more about your thoughts on kris and asriel in deltarune? i'm watching you and avvy play it, and i find your talk of asriel's relationship with the dark world interesting.. i'm not really a deltarune fan, i've played chapter 1+2 but it was a while ago, but your thoughts on kris and asriel really interested me. for the record, any spoilers about chapter 3+4 or okay even if i haven't played them! thank you in advance for your answer ✨
Glad our playthrough was entertaining. To me, the very core of DELTARUNE (and by extension, UNDERTALE) lies within the relationship between Kris/Chara and Asriel... without them, there is no game, and I wouldn't have the interest I do in the games. So that's me just nodding along with, it makes sense to be interested in them even if the game itself isn't the most motivating to play. Hehe.
If you want a general rundown about the two... *taps lips* Ahh, where to even begin. Well for starters, I still think it's fascinating that Kris and Asriel have an age gap between them, compared to their UT counterparts. Not something that happened with other characters who were originally same aged? To me, it's as jarring as if, IDK, the game randomly created an age skew between Alphys and Undyne, because you'd have to think back to their UT selves and wonder what that says about them??
(And it would say SOMEthing, for the record; I'm not the type of person that treats the universes completely separately. I understand that UNDERTALE's narrative exists in its contained bubble and Toby doesn't want us to imagine mmhh, perhaps a sort of multiverse or timey wimey nonsense between it and DELTARUNE. However it's clear to me that DELTARUNE functions as a 'what if?' story, where we see the characters in a new context. It's still them though, as much as a mangaka can pitch an AU where the characters are going to a magical boarding school, and it's not as if the characters identities are lost in that AU, lol.)
It's always been clear to me that in UT, Chara was more mature and severe, while Asriel followed their lead helplessly. He seemed to absorb everything they said, tried to internalize their perceptions of the world, thought they were special and unlike anyone else. Making DR Azzy the older brother recontextualizes that obsessiveness into... being very attentive of younger sibling...?? Caretaking, doting...? And while I do feel like Kris certainly retains Chara's morbid predilections, it seems like they are softened with more mischief and playfulness, ala Frisk. (Disclaimer that I think Frisk is just Chara with less reservations, so Kris is similar, with less reservations due to a different upbringing.) So Kris in turn becomes this lovable rascal, to Asriel's loving onii-chan nature, and I'm like hahahah where Am I... What is this fanfic of a world---!! So interesting, I never would have conceptualized it myself... My Chara brain is small — I never could imagine us growing up past age ~8 anyhow... Injecting teen into this all is so messy. But ermm nothing so far has shocked me exactly — seems like Kris and Azzy both are ill-fitted to being a Teen. What with there being anecdotes of both Kris and Asriel being kind of,, taken for a ride,,,, by peers,, I think Asriel suffered from this more (trapped in games of spin the bottle, dragged to prom by exuberant girlz) but it seems Kris is not immune to, trying to get in with Cool Big Kids, and flopping. Ffffflop fail get nowhere...
In spite of whatever trophies & achievements are on Azzy's shelf, I can't see him as flourishing... Being in college does not indicate being self-satisfied at all. From what we can glean, he was sensitive and a crybaby (like in UT...), well-behaved and concerned about religion and the idea of 'sin' even without others imposing that onto him. Anddd... so, well, we know Toriel is very Strict No Contact NO!! Inappropriate Behavior, so god knows, whatever pressure mommy did exude was nervewracking, difficult for Asriel to contend with. I can't imagine he did well under the slightest expectation... I worry Asriel spent his life fumbling social interactions, being too polite to fend off individuals like Bratty & Catty, trying and failing to get anyone to listen to his music, and then was carted off to college. WERE IT NOT FOR HIS BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD, IN THE FORM OF KRIS, I worry Azzy would be forsaken by this world. We've yet to learn the details of Azzy's dynamic with Noelle and Dess in the past, but so far it feels like the majority of interactions were had as a group. And um, Dess going missing many years ago means that whatever connection was there, was lost...
Rambling, but I just wanted to assert that I fret about Asriel's well-being and don't see him as a 'golden child' or favorable etc. Rather, I think he was possibly held to a high standard and never got to act out and be as free as Kris ever did. Much like how Noelle regards Kris as the only one who knows she's weird, since it seems Noelle and Asriel have overlaps in their nature & dynamic with Kris. Much like how UT Azzy declares with great emotion that Chara was special and the only one who ever understood him, I believe it's the same with Kris in DR; the only person who Asriel could share everything with... Combined with all the sweet sentimental stories of the time spent together, it's heart-wrenching, how much these two shared... Always playing together, having collaborated in game making (art, music, design...), making snowmen, watching TV and doing little BITS at the TV, making whipcream beards, nonsense like that... Seems endless... And there's even implication that Kris has stayed up all night talking to Asriel online while he is away at college — so even when apart, they focus a lot of energy in staying together, in one another's thoughts.
*SIGHS!* Kris's sheer listlessness at the start of the game, feels like they've withered away without Asriel there with them. But knowing Asriel Dreemurr, unable to Let Go, so so very painfully attached and dependent, I can't imagine he's faring very well himself. ANGST...! MISERY!! LOVE...
... AND THEN... UMMM, ALL THAT MADNESS LEADS TO... ?? ???????? WHATEVER is being accomplished with the deranged playtimes with Ralsei in the Dark World... Hahaha, I can't fathom how multi-layered and convoluted it's become at that point. If Ralsei is perhaps a constructed persona (with dubious awareness), then it's like... ?? What if onii-chan was... someone with NO friends, NO previous experiences, waiting in a room to meet you...?? Ralsei seeming more like a 'peer' than an older individual kind of feels like an odd expression too, like perhaps it feels more accurate to how Azzy feels, following Kris's lead, loyal, helpless... Simpering, making wet eyes at you, ready to do anything and, ready to accept any kind of behavior. Whatever you want to do Kris...!! Anything.....!!!!!!!!! *whine, whine*
Likewise I think it must be fun for Kris to be, a cool mysterious protagonist. Point, direct, command, go my steed... Combine that with um, the Dark Worlds all being some sort of omage to their past playtimes, staged in places of great import to them...? I guess it feels like Kris and Asriel have made a very elaborate, bizarre, passionate celebration of their relationship in the countdown before Asriel's arrival. Who knows what the goal of such a thing is... [squints at UT for guidance] Kris is um, slowly getting sicker, which happened to Chara due to Asriel poisoning them in some wild plan which ended in them fusing into an abomination... So. Wwwwonder what we'll be doing here... with the angel... and all that....... Ahah.
💁♂️ I have now provided a generalized rant about those two... I think they were woefully attached, perhaps to their own detriment, but nothing could stop them, because they needed each other very badly. Needed to bake pies together and watch favorite cartoons and make music with one another and linger in a diner together. Asriel needed to have chocolates ready in his pockets like a Kris treat dispenser... he needed to um carry Kris in his arms to school to enable their slovenly lifestyle. [furious] And that's why in the present day, Kris can do things like scratch a door and howl pathetically, and Ralsei can be like oouuu Kris need walkies? [NAUSEATED, FURIOUS...] Whatever. They suck actually, don't play this game ever. It's very bad and stupid.
I love your art so fucking much!!! Oh my god how am I just now finding your stuff???
this is a bit of a strange question, but with kinnie sex (especially with tsukasa/hanako/nene), do you ever wish there was like. two avvys?
This might sound convoluted, but in the act of kinnie sex, not really, since it's a particular headspace that I would say is like... really about being immersed in the emotional and physical expression between the two of us in that moment. It requires a very 'present' mind, in a particular way, vividly experiencing Being Amane and Being Tsukasa for the sex. I feel like a part of me becomes an attentive observer, fascinated by my own responses as they come... Avvy might have a different way of putting it, but I will say for myself, I feel like I become a camera lens that is trained on [kin], and then [kin] is trained on [Avvy's kin]. Generally those WHIMs are quite focused on what they are doing... I found that Amane was quite absorbed in whatever he was enacting on Tsukasa in that moment, as a one-on-one thing. Sometimes it felt like having sex with Nene-chan... and then other times, a Tsukasa possessing Nene-chan, but each time, experiencing the individual body with self.
Outside of this all lies a Porno Brain that simply lusts for as many experiences as possible, simultaneously, so it craves multiple bodies to enact upon / be enacted upon. Umm it feels so... [drools] Just wishing so badly to get to subject Avvy to something like, fucking her mouth WHILE penetrating, and sucking her tits. Or you know, if only I could be buried in pussy and then also getting face sat on, being teased, etc etc... This and this and this and this, these positions simultaneously... how to make her feel it All at once... onegai... [howls] It's a fantastical extreme that one turns to art for. And by that point, might as well have it escalate to other layers, if only to be fucking Avvy who is a loli and also Avvy who is a shota... I feel like the event horizon of wishing for more bodies is like, feral gangbangs, where every individual in the gangbang is like a fragment of self. Become apart of a miasma, scrabbling and clawing over an Avvy at the center, or be besieged by many Avvys, the glorious vixens and their pussies that I must fuck. Umm lol it feels so nonintellectual and separate from kin when I try and quantify it...
Not that your question was a wrong assumption or anything!! I want to reassure, it's good curiosity, I just feel amused at myself having to explain that I'm hornie so I crave Many Avvys, it's not like I particularly need Two to have specifically This OT3 sex with. It's one of those things where, if I was already able to have Multiple Avvys (pure fantasy) then it might as well already be [1000 other things]. If I could have more than one Avvy, it wouldn't be the act of Kinnie Sex [immersing self and embodying ship]... because we'd just Be the Ship, we'd just Be the Creatures, and so on and so forth.
Tangential, and not really something to elaborate on, but something particular about Pride the Arrogant, is how his body works... I feel like that's an instance of being One individual yet being able to fulfill the roles of many many bodies enacting on one, there's the little shota container and the horrible writhing shadow mass. It feels like being a deranged sex machine all compact into 'one' entity, which is also really fun to imagine. Just an instance where one doesn't actually need 'two' of self to fulfill that desire to be all over. So in a way, if one just had the right equipment, it can scratch an itch of wanting to be a sexual nightmare to lover... Hehe.
I'm also charmed by the meta that happens at times, where one can be channeling Amane, and Amane is frustrated by the limits of his own body, and how he has to juggle between Tsukasa and Nene. It can feel unfair... Childish, gluttonous emotions of wanting to subject them to completely parallel experiences simultaneously. Me and Avvy have discussed this before, but there are versions of us that would envy what We have [the unified experience]... The heart is unreasonable, it wants everything all the time always.
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