[answered on: 2/20/2022]

It's Digimon Tamers (Season 3) ! My #1 absolute fav...!! Though for the record I have only watched seasons 1-3 in full, and I've watched 4&5 very non-committally. Anything more modern I am completely clueless about though; I am not tapped into that. And I haven't watched Tri or the reboot of 01 (... and I don't plan to... XP) .... OH and I've played Digmon World DS&Dusk&Dawn and enjoyed them plenty. OK.

Tamers takes the cake for me when it come to the anime... Has my favorite characters, main digimon, and my favorite lore for what digimon are, how they work. Somehow the meta of it being a trading card game and video game series is like wait... yes... This totally works... Since! The point is digimon are 'digital', and rather inorganic... It 'explains' a lot to me, how digimon look/act/function, that they were literally made by humans -- I even like that digimon was originally a more Severe serious tech project by some genius college students before it was scrapped & then repurposed into games... It feels almost ah. Like creepypasta-y? The raw hubris of doing this. Of course, Darkness Later Ensues, you all were totally asking for it.

Of the main kids my favorite is Juri, unmatched. The gem of the series. But otherwise I like Ruki/Jian/Takato about the same amount, I would say they all stand in as my "second fav". I wouldn't say I have an OTP exactly, but I enjoy Juri and Takato's rship in canon and also I think Renamon deserves paydirt for simping for Ruki. Lopmon/Terriermon could kiss I would be down.

(WAIT BTW THERE'S A JP ARTIST THAT SHIPS AI AND IMPON AND THEIR ART IS GORGEOUS ALSO...?? I never conceptualized this on my own but I have to recommend them just on principal, HUGE brain. has made my absolute fav depictions of impon i've ever seen.. sweet best friend to littol girl. Please have a look...)

... anyhoo i just love Tamer's aesthetics more as well... errr I'm quiet nostalgic for it haha ^^; so some aspects are not necessarily harmonious with my modern day preferences in media but! it definitely appealed to me a ton around the time it came out! I really like Hypnos, this... secret government facility that is actually working towards containing & researching threats to people without them knowing. I like that the kids are thwarting scary men in suits with sunglasses kskdfgj it's so Edgy... I like the lengths that Takato has to go to harbor and sustain Guilmon -- your fantasy of keeping and hiding an awesome yet dangerous magical dinosaur pet fromy our parents... You have to work hard to keep guilmon but it is worth it!!

I like that everyone's partner digimon are of disperate sizes and their home lives necessitate different solutions for hiding their digis. I like that Jian is protective of Terriermon bc of having seen him hurt so badly from his careless days of playing with him as a virtual video game pet -- then having to see terriermon's torn up body IRL making him SOO upset that he CANNOT deal with the thought of him getting hurt... I liked Jian a lot as a kid actually, I think he used to be my fav character when I watched the series on TV back then. I just like that he is more ah nervous, severe, thoughtful boy... Terriermon being kind of a little brat is like funneh and a good foil. I like that it feels like it's terriermon who likes to climb and crawl all over Jian and be his hat and be like abuu [flops ears over] Cute dynamic...

Ruki has taken time for me to appreciate but when I rewatched Tamers as an older teen I could appreciate her a lot more. The layers of being a Girl gamer essentially thus being cold and aloof to maintain her appearance, not being good at making friends, strained home life, umm but her having a cute tender side within. She's fun. Though her and Renamon come off as two bad bitches I think renamon is a lot more sentimental and sensitive like a loyal dog about Ruki... As things improve between them i'm like aww girls.... Also I enjoy glimmers of Ruki/Juri friendship unit...

Hm what else... Aueerr I know 01-02 digimon is no stranger to Darkness and death, high stakes, but I think I enjoy Tamer's depiction of it the most? The atmosphere feels more melancholy overall, and I like that so many characters have to struggle with fear of digimon, genuinely... That Takato was gleeful when going to find guilmon because WOW THE OC I MADE CAME TO LIFE!! but upon seeing him in person it was like, daunting. Because you made a big red dinosaur that can blast holes in the wall. SCARY.. PARALYZINGLY SO!! I like how miserable Jian is about battling with Terriermon bc battles BAD, SCARY. UPSETTING. WISH YOU DID NOT HAVE TO. and when Growlmon and Gargomon happen I like that the evolution is lasting and cumbersome... Have to deal with this persisting upgraded kill form beyond the battle -- WHICH IS HARD!!

lesse uhm... OH i love calumon tons... I'm soo simple for mascot charas... precious bbyyy sooo sweet I loved him sm when watching the show as a kid and would draw him. I also would draw terriermon and lopmon a lot -- though not necessarily from this canon!! I sort of ID with Terriermon&Lopmon as a species, as a whole, as opposed to Tamers terri. actually I'm spiritually closer in demeanor to the one that Willis owns in Hurricane Touchdown (02 movie). But I love calumon like THE Calumon... baby is sweet, baby is precious... In my heart Calumon actually belongs to Juri, like he's her true partner digimon... (s-sorry leomon skdfjdgj) but ah I love how he is like a damsel in distress and doggedly by Juri's side when she is dead-eyed depressed within the D-Reaper... Ty for trying your best honey. I used to really feel a way also about how triggering digivolution was painful for calumon... -some sort of horny emotion-

hm what else... i mean i love the D-REAPER!!!!!!! SO COOL!! The final boss being neither digimon nor human is rly cool I like that it is just a program... I like that it is a primitive program that is meant to keep the population in check! It's goal is to simply make sure that digimon never reach past a certain #, because of limited space in the digital world. Makes a lot of sense this would be an aspect of the world...! I like to think the D-Reaper is also discerning on # of each digimon present, like making sure there are only so many agumons out and about, keeping the world functioning As It Should... like you don't want the world to be overrun by wormmon that's no good. This is the computer making sure the wildlife sim doesn't become overrun with anteaters randomly.

It makes sense that upon interacting with a human being, the D-reaper is like "...? ? ????....?????" and sends an agent to observe and collect data on humans. I love that it quietly begins to communicate with Juri opun studying her steadily over time... and that she is so mindbroken and depressed from her journey in the digital world that the D-reaper's perception of humans is very skewed! And it continues to learn in this flawed, corrupted way, seeing the persisting misery and sadness of the humans... It is entirely bewitching when the D-reaper starts speaking through Juri's handpuppet -- and we the audience do not know this -- and she is responding to it... she's so despondent and unwell that she doesn't question that her puppet is talking to her without her making it...? And it just leads her away... This entire sequence was so haunting for me as a kid. Again it is kind of creepypasta-y....!

Hm what else to mention... I only recently learned that the head writer of Serial Experiments Lain also wrote Tamers. This literally explains So Much and the overlap between the two works is really fascinating..! I think it explains why overall Tamers is understood to be the 'darker, edgier, mature' season of digimon. And I can't help but agree, I think its handling of the series is just what I wanted at... age, like 6, skdfdjgh... Actually I think around the same time I was watching Code Lyoko and i was SOO into it, and it.. actually has um, a similar flavor of? Like kids evading parents/school/government, secretly exploring a digital world, fighting a rogue AI...? At the time... It was utterly enchanting to me.

When I recall it all i can still feel the echoes of the emotions i felt when imbibing it for the frist time... I think Tamers for me now isn't something I can really create writing or art for but! It has a special place in my heart <3 and I like to look at art done by others for sure.

My final thing I want to mention is I was a pretty big fan of 01 as a tyke too! My fav kids are Hikari and Takeru and my favorite digimon are tailmon(gatomon), patamon, and gomamon! I like the pilot movie a lot and am really emo also about the first koromon that Taichi and Hikari befriended as little kids! T_T i always wish Hikari could reunite with that koromon.... it devastates me!! Hikari is my #1 fav of that series, I love that she is a good sweet girl, yet quiet and mysterious and eerie! Sickly! i like her mysteriously strong connection with digimon and how in-tune she is with them... She's just really cool!!!!!

OK I hope this has been an interesting read haha

[answered on: 2/7/2022]

There's enough ambiguity in the game itself about whether or not Basil or Sunny were the ones that killed Mari, and I believe that is very intentional. In fact, this is the crux of the divide between Basil and Sunny in the game, this is what is they are struggling to confront. I think the point of the "Something" -- that is, the visage of Mari's eyes open upon hanging -- is supposed to evoke doubt in us, just as it did for Basil and Sunny. You're supposed to think, oh, god, was she REALLY dead when they hung her body...?

This is the question that haunts Basil and Sunny into the present day start of the game. They DON'T KNOW for sure, and at this point, they CAN'T KNOW... and it eats away at both of them. On the day of the incident, they both realized that they don't actually know one another as much as they thought they did; by witnessing each other do things that really horrified one another. The ambiguity is a major part of why this circumstance is even more upsetting than it would've been without it (and make no mistake it would be miserable no matter what...) I think both Basil and Sunny alternate between self-loathing, and fear/resentment of the other, as a result of this. They just don't know how to feel about the other...!

For Basil, he is denying that Sunny hurt Mari at all, because he cannot reconcile this action with his idea of Sunny. Basil justifies that SOMETHING else had to have pushed Mari, and ruined his photo album, because he never would have thought Sunny capable of such things. And for Sunny, who was shut down and completely dissociating throughout this event, he... is terrified with what Basil did to Mari, by setting up this lie. It doesn't matter if it was to 'protect' him, because the fact that Basil could think of this and guide Sunny to assist in it ALONE is what is so scary, to Sunny.
But fwiw, I think Sunny is so far from broaching the thought of "Basil killed Mari" and instead is struggling to even accept the idea of "I am afraid of Basil", and this compartmentalization is represented through headspace Basil and Basil's Stranger. Headspace Basil is sweet voiced and encapsulates the Basil that Sunny knew in the past, while the Stranger represents the side of Basil that caught him completely off guard and looms about, yelling at him to not leave him and also deriding him about his actions. I even think the name "Stranger" is very apt, as it is as though Basil morphed into an entirely foreign, unknown individual in Sunny's head, and he just can't... merge this reality with the Basil he knew in the past. We really see Sunny struggling and oscillating between "Basil, the nice boy who loves flowers and photographs us" and "BASIL, SCARY, PERSON WHO HURT ME! WHO I CAN'T BE AROUND" ... *STABS IN MY BRAIN*... (I know that Basil being harmed in Black Space/by Omori is about Omori repressing the truth from Sunny, but, I can't. Not. Psychoanalyze Sunny on the method of this repression. Because it starkly contrasts how Omori feels about Mari -- who is arguably the root of the 'truth'. There's no need to ATTACK Mari however... Mari is not such an overt 'threat'. She is merely a guiding force trying to massage Sunny towards catharsis. It feels meaningful to me that Mari, even as Something, still only expresses that she loves Sunny, while Basil is used as a tool to heckle and deride...)

Anyways, I think by nature, being alone with headspace Basil ALWAYS is going to be fraught because Sunny CANNOT bear to reflect on Basil too hard for too long.

I bring this all up because I think this is an important aspect of this entire scenario: that Sunny... is... afraid of what Basil did!

So let's walk things back to the incident/Truth; let's say Sunny did kill Mari. This is possible, as you can examine Mari in a memory of truth, and it states that she is not breathing. (Though, I still don't think this is absolute proof necessarily, since I do not trust 12 yo distraught Sunny to be fully capable of checking Mari's breathing or pulse...) *coughs* but anyhow, we're saying that Mari was deceased from the fall and/or between being transported into her bed upstairs.

Even if this was true, I still think that what Basil did was unnecessary and traumatized the both of them in the end, more than if Sunny had simply been found crying by Mari's side as their parents came home. Accidents happen and I believe between Sunny's parents and the police, it could be understood that it was a moment of passion sort of deal. And from then on, Sunny would just have to cope with the regret and self-hate of having harmed someone he loved very much, just because a moment of losing control over himself.

Staging a suicide just was so, bad, for both Sunny and Basil's brains, and for everyone. Err I mean I UNDERSTAND that is the point of the plot of OMORI naturally, I get that... I understand Basil was just a 12 yo who perhaps could not grasp the weight of what he was doing, and acted on various assumptions/fears irrationally. But... like...! The point of the game also is that it is up to you how you feel about these two. Do you think they both are equally to blame? Are they both monsters? Or are they both two kids who made a mistake and should be forgiven? Or... do you empathize more with the plight of one, not the other...? That's up to you

And for me, where I land is, that 1. I do personally believe that Mari was alive still, and died by the hanging. This is how her death was able to be confirmed by police/forensics, with no further questioning. 2. and EVEN IF Sunny did kill Mari, I sympathize far more with him having blindly pushed her back because he was mad... This could happen to anyone! He just wasn't thinking. At that point it is just genuinely tragic circumstance; if this had happened anywhere else it could've ended fine. It's not Sunny's fault the human body is very easy to BONK-!! kill. IT'S VERY SAD AND SCARY!!

But er. I can't sympathize with what Basil did. I have a lot more problems with Basil having all the premeditation to worry about what will happen to the friend group when this truth is revealed... and to then, walk Sunny through bringing the body outside, tie a noose, set up the toychest, create this entire narrative... And for Basil to now rewrite Mari's existence and memory as a suicidal girl. The misery this brings upon soo many people who loved and knew her...! That now everyone must think that she was secretly suffering, and they were all too ignorant to see... And it also makes it true that, Mari wanted to die more than she wanted to be with everyone. THE WAY THIS ALTERS THE MEMORY OF MARI IS SO EGREGIOUS!!! I'd rather someone think I fell over and died than that I CHOSE to commit suicide-!!

Like you know I get it, we don't have to hold fictional characters up to a moral code the same way we do with real people. But like, in that case, Basil hasn't done enough to make me feel like his plight was worth it. Since, Sunny proceeds to become a shut-in and Basil cannot bring himself to doggedly try and keep contact... Seems like you just fucked up and everyone was miserable and there were no gains. Omg!!!! If only Basil's lie to "protect" Sunny was even anything Sunny could benefit from, in any way. But the friend group falls apart regardless... No one's bonds were strong enough to last through this tragedy.

Basil and Sunny were not able to become closer in any way because of this. They just became strangers to one another!

So *waves hands* you're going to likely hear me jokily state, point blank, that Basil killed Mari, but I don't dislike him JUST because of this... It's his choices vs. Sunny's that are the issue. If Mari was still alive after the fall, then Basil escalated a situation to the point of no return, and killed Sunny's very beloved sister. But on the flip side, if Sunny did kill Mari, then Basil's coverup still was overly harmful and unnecessary. Sunny did not want or ask for any of this. I think it was less "to protect Sunny" and more to protect Basil's happiness found in the friend group, because he was so troubled and lonely. It just feels far more self-preservational in nature than sacrificial, regardless of how Basil perceives his actions. I mean, he is later stating he will protect Sunny again while cornering him and gouging his eye out with gardening shears while Sunny is terrified and resisting... This, to me, encapsulates that Basil "protecting" Sunny is misguided and unwanted. It only harms him greatly!!!!!!

I hope this all illuminates my feelings sufficiently :p

[answered on: 1/28/2022]

I feel like in stories, the 'worst' kinds of girls I like are vain rich girls, and lonesome asocial outcast girls. I do love, genuinely, when a girl is petty and shallow at times; acting selfishly, for very 'girl' reasons -- things derided as stupid 'typical' girl behavior. Like if a girl thinks a lot about her appearance, worries about her hair and how she dresses, wants to be pretty, if she gets jealous and wants the object of her affection to notice her, if she wants to be chased and desired and wanted, all that... I like when, maybe a girl has a tough front, an unflappable aloof exterior, but in her heart she is delicate. A little girl, deep down. And so, I love to chip away and get to that root, that vulnerable tasty center. I like difficult, fussy girls, bratty girls, because the thought of getting them to open up and tell you their deepest woes and secrets is like... *swoons*... I think I equally as much like to be a knight in shining armor as I like to be a tormentor, to girls. I would love for them to confide in me and for them to treat me like their diary, but also I would like to terrorize them and drop a cage over them and make them cry. rawr

This is rarer and a trickier needle to thread, but I really like degenerate pervert girls? NEET girls of the world. I do indeed love a girl incel, it's like mwah *chefs kiss* when done right. Loser girls! Girls who can't do anything right. It's like, to the left of "moe through helplessness" and "manic pixie dream girl". Manic pervert girl, helpless girl who doesn't shower very much. I love WEIRD GIRLS , girls with no friends, girls who are off-putting and can't be normal. Nyarr... It's rare that people write girls to be as extreme in the way a boy can be in stories, so I think I tend to make OCs that fill in this niche more.

As a disclaimer though, I feel like I need to say not all girls are created equal. I don't like a character just because they are a mean bully. I love Vriska and Lapis but I actively can't stand like Winry or Asuka. Not endeared by bully Aubrey in Omori or Maggie in Ava's Demon. But I am horny for Midna and Tetra's bully dialogue. You know it all varies! The nature of caustic personalities is they are hit or miss, depending on the person. GLADoS is deplorably mean in Portal but I just find it sexy. But I wish I could delete Rainbow Dash from FiM -- we cannot control these things.

[answered on: 1/20/2022]

Good luck reading this.

---

time to out myself as the world's most basic person......... jk, this was already known to be true. ok! I think i just wanna go through a bunch of musicals in no particular order, bc i've cycled through obsessions throughout the years and i can't exactly say what is my favorite... since, the way i imbibe musicals is in a very, cavalier way i would say...? there are a lot that i do not think are well written but i like & listen to them anyways lol.

i'm gonna start with hamilton actually just from one fan to the other *tips hat*. i listened to it a TON from 2015-2017, maybe some of 2018 was still pretty hammy, but lately not as much. but when i did listen to it i binged it pretty hard and constantly, i'd listen through the entire album all the time, and i still, STILL am forever devastated that my sibling & mom went to see it in broadway without me fksdfjhg... i would have killed to experience this. i still haven't gotten around to watching the version that's on disney+ and should, since i've only seen camrips of it :'(

anyhow my overall review of hamilton is like: despite... having 0 interest in american history, i just find it so cute that lin-manuel endeavored for this musical. ah i've watched interviews where he's talked about how he came across this idea and he's just speaking so impassioned and autistically, infodumping about hims little interest, he seems out of breath when he's excited and this is just so moe to me... i interact with Hamilton as the fanfiction that it is. simply making a narrative over the skeleton of historical figures.

Okay onto the songs!! Grrr it's so hard to pick from the tracklist, even relisting to a few isn't helping me as much as I wish... But! I'll just say, in my true heart, my favorite songs are the ones that are horny and about love.

Soo that would place "Helpless", "Satisfied", "Take a Break", and "Say No to This" as the crown jewels. These songs are the most fun to sing and act out physically for me -- which is a big part of my enjoyment of a musical song-!! I um, did theatre in high school, and in general really like embodying music physically, acting out interactions and stuff...

As a hopeless romantic, it is soo fun to sing and play out "Helpless", like I love the gushiness, really gives me the urge to shimmy shimmy shoulders and fluff out m'dress, OooOOoohh I do I do I do i dOoooOooooo.... but this is why chasing it with 'Satisfied' is so dope, THE DRAMA-!! Oh, to immediately feel out the pining and yearning as Angelica submits to giving Eliza the happiness she wants... like, fuck! I am IN it.

"Take a Break" meanwhile, my favorite parts are the letters being written between Angelica and Alexander. When I was in long-distance relationships, I often resonated with the lines, And there you are an ocean away -- Do you have to live an ocean away? Thoughts of you subside, then I get another letter, I cannot put the notion away-- // You won't be an ocean away, you'll only be a moment away...

And, I mean, the part where Eliza and Angelica are beautifully singing together and trying to lure hammy away, like please come have a threesome with us in our dope house upstate, and he is like No thank you ma'ams... FUNNY TO ME but also i like the sound of them trying to lure him away, uhh [basic brain] sexy to have two girls beseeching you through song.

but this is why Say No to This is so funny like ahh Haveta gotta wanna fuck this girl, oooh. And, I mean I like her harlot voice, ljkdsjd... But I came here, all alone, and I don't know, where to gooo...
The intro being like an ominous reprise of the upbeat verse in "The Schuyler Sisters". The haunting violins, but later the twinkly harp. Burr introducing Alex's horny folly. The chorus of people going NO!!!!!!! while he is like haha yes.

hmm honorary mentions to other songs: "Meet Me Inside", "Non-Stop", "What'd I Miss", "The Room Where It Happens, Blow Us All Away", and "It's Quiet Uptown"...

(God actually as i type this out, I'm actually realizing, this is one of the musicals i have the least qualms with wrt writing, music, and the flow of the story, it just is dope, actually maybe it IS my favorite musical IDK... I find myself struggling to isolate specific songs because they're so fun and I love the flow from one into the other. I enjoy the song in tandem with one another, and I love progressing through the narrative... I could go on about many other tracks/transitions but this would make this too-long reply even longer...)

---

Alright now that That's out of my system, let's move onwards to other musicalz...

Repo! The Genetic Opera is something I've liked since I was about ~13? And is another musical I can listen through the entire album and often do, pretty regularly. Every now and then my interest in Repo pops up and I need to give a listen. I would say the overall concept of a dystopian world where your organs can be repossessed is, like... mm, begrudgingly interesting to me, it's over the top and edgy and grungy but I do like that about it...

But I'm very stubbornly not into the Dad redemption at the end of this. BOO!!! not necessary. Nathan should just. Die. and Shilo doesnt need to be like "ah I loved you all along, Dad who locked me in my room and creepily obsessed over me, and also poisoned me to trick me into thinking I was chronically ill". It's soo lame because, there are songs where Shilo expresses her raw frustration with her bunk deal in life, and it's really interesting to hear a girl just be FRUSTRATED and angry about being ill, blaming her dead tragic mom for cursing her with this condition, and hating to be compared to dead mom constantly -- that's like really cool to do!!! It just, in the end, can't be full gothic and have Nathan die without being embraced and forgiven in a protracted sequence for his own feefees =__= okay. anyways Shilo's relationship with the Graverobber is 100x more interesting, if you want like, a weird relationship with an older mans imo... Even Rottie having investment in Shilo as his chosen heir to geneco is more interesting bc he is snubbing his insane bio kids. Anyways.

The best song in this musical is actually this 36 second song titled "Can't Get It up If the Girl's Breathing?" It's all self-explanatory.

The second best song is the 22 second song called "Lungs and Livers"

LUNGS AND LIVERS AND BLADDERS AND HEARTS
YOU ALWAYS SAVE A BUNDLE WHEN YOU BUY OUR GENECO PARTS!!!!!
SPLEENS AND INTESTINES AND SPINES AND BRAINS
ALL AT WAREHOUSE PRICES BUT OUR QUALITY'S THE SAME

Repo is just good for this kind of lowbrow type fodder. Like ah, I do like this tacky song, "We Started This Op'ra Shit" but god I know it might be like. Challenging so just be warned...
mmm but really specifically I like the bit in the middle where a woman is talking about her experience

I needed a kidney transplant desperately
Geneco showed this single mom sympathy
This makeover came for a small added fee
Now I look smashing on live TV!

The whole theme of repo is this crazy world where surgery has become an essential part of life, but also like addicting, and just something people are doing, body-modding is just The Big Thing. Since the world is plagued with an organ failure disease, you might as well be upselled by things. I'm like meh at the thought of this as social commentary >> I just kind of like this nightmare ghoulish world, it intrigues me.

IG these are the songs that are just the most fun for me and make me think about the world, but as for songs pertaining to the mains (Nathan and Shilo) and the narrative, that's it's own section, and for those...

I'd say the best Shilo numbers are simply "Infected" and "Seventeen", they're both fun, a girl is SICK!! of her life. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! Infected actually goes pretty hard, and I think watching the scene from the movie would like. Inform you where 13 yo bird was at lol. So here. Eurr I also like the Vibes in "Needle Through A Bug"... Good dialogue between Shilo and Graverobber. (too shy to link that one though...)

alright nathan songs. He's like the loser of losers, really the most pathetic mans character, very "*pitiful voice* dead wife..." but. But I will give them this, I do like the duality of him and the 'repo-man', and it makes for dope songs.

"Night Surgeon" is, like, cool. Starts with this miserable little piano intro as Nathan is on the ground and like warbling, and then steadily getting heckled/hyped by the evil fucks and also the chorus of sexy nurses that encircle him like wolves. He's like steadily entering his persona throughout the song, and by the final verse we essentially get a tf being conveyed through lyrics.

[warbling] every dying whisper, every desperate murmur... [gravelly] I remember marking eveRy vvictim, with acute precision [sucking through teeth, growling] I REMEMBER, I DISMEMBER! CAUSE THE CLAIMS MEDIC GIVES NO ANESTHETIC!!! [frothing] I'M THE MASKED HORROR ON YOUR STREET CORNER-- MAKE YOUR MAMMA MOURN YA

... and uh, I think "Thankless Job" is a fun short tune also.

---

Next up is... Heathers. My simple verdict: veronica sucks, she is the least of them all. Not able to commit to being an evil harpy popular girl, nor able to commit to the crazy reject kid she fucked, nor able to be true to some personal moral code about being good to the underdogs. She just wants clout. She's not an interesting protag, i must ignore her weakness as I listen to heathers. eh but overall i think heathers' social commentary is like nothing, it's just a black comedy so it gets away with it. More than anything, I pity JD, he is a good yandere, he has good yandere emotions. To me, he encapsulates the way yandere/incel/school-shooter emotions all sorta overlap.

The best song is "Our Love Is God", it's horny and the lyrics are really good for yandere feels. I love the euphoria present in the beginning of it, the delusions of grandeur, the romance... sharing a moment of sadness and vulnerability, before commiting to things. planning to do something nefarious, baiting some other teens out into a cemetary...

We can start and finish wars-
We're what killed the dinosaurs!
We're the asteroid that's overduuue
the dinosaurs choked on the dust-
THEY DIED BECAUSE GOD SAID THEY MUST!!

The next best song I would say is "Meant To Be Yours", same logic, I love getting to hear JD's impassioned singing. and his sleazy voice in the beginning too.. All is forgiven baAbyyy💕 Again good for yandere feelings... 🎶YOoOuuUUU CAARRVVVED OPEN MY HEEEART🎶 PLEEEEASE DON'T LEAVE ME TO BLEED!!! ... STIIIILL I WILL IF I MUST!!🎶

Also "Dead Girl Walking" is a good sex song. but you know [waves hand] once again i do not pity veronica or her circumstance kdskfjg...

"Lifeboat" actually makes me really emotional... I feel more for Heather Mcnamara than I ever do for Veronica really. Pity her a lot...

hm but what else. I like "Candy Store", I like the way the heathers say 'pussy' in it. I can listen to "Beautiful", "Big Fun", and "The Me Inside of Me" when I am in that sort of mood. I have a wretched relationship with "Blue". That's it tho

---

Now it is time for Be More Chill. okay i think overall this musical is kind of hokey and it's writing is, kinda embarrassing, and yet I would say overall it is more enjoyable to me than Heathers. I can listen through the entire album and often do. It's a fun ride?

Hmm favorite tracks... #1 spot goes to "The Pitiful Children". Hammy villain song!! I do like the SQUIP. I like that it can take control of you from the inside and puppet you around. This song feels like you're being puppeted around by strings. If I had more free time and space and a soundproof room, I would blast this and sing it and lurch around like a zombie, and also curl my hands like claws and act like little people were dangling from my fingers.

Ah, I love the triumphant ending. Veering from the villainous boast into ✨EVVV✨ERY✨THING ABOUT IS GOING TO BE WONDERFUL~!✨ ... NOT PITIFUL CHILDREN ANY~MORE!✨ And imo the musical has really built you up to this hype, with the title songs "Be More Chill" (part 1&2).

Let's see, I think I would follow that up with "The Squip Song", since, again, the SQUIP is my favorite element of the story. Again cringe lyrics but bear with me. The mounting tension and breathy ThEenn THEN thenn then thEnn THEN-!!, good. And when they get to the part where all the synths and autotune... I dunno I'm feeling it, I am a teen being predated on. Give me this grey oblong pill. (I would actually never be tempted by this, but it's Just that Immersive!!)

Third top pick is "Michael In The Bathroom", it's like, omg you made me feel for the loser friend being left behind during all these endeavors. For this one, I think most of my pleasure is derived from singing it, just is great to pace around and belt this one out. All the different pitches in tone, the just-about-to-cry moments and the frustrated huffing, yelling, ya... I will even actually link this performance I love, distinctly. I really like this actor... He always sells the misery to me. (There's ANOTHER video of him doing this scene on yt but it'd be a little redundant to link...)

Ends strongly, when he's like OR WISH I OFFED MYSELF INSTEAD, WISH I WAS NEVER BORN!!!*

Um, let's seee, I also really like "I Love Play Rehearsal" I like the upbeat girlishness to it. Lends a fun unhinged flavor to when she has her various asides... Ditzy dumb girl emphasis on things, meandering song, playful. Again, supremely fun to act out!!! I often clasp my hands together and swing them around and bat my eyes to this one.

Last things I want to mention are "Upgrade" and "The Smartphone Hour". I like Upgrade a lot, hmm it's probably my favorite out of all the like 'general plot'-y songs, w the ensemble and all. The smartphone hour, is, like tasteless 'people be on they phoens' jokes but it's fun to sing, I like it sonically. I like the girls texting each other. Gets a pass from me in the end.

But yeah reviewing this all, I would say I generally like BMC and the hammy-ness appeals to me... U.U

---

I like and listen to about 3 tracks from Dear Evan Hansen. I don't think the musical is like great, but it's not bad to me either ig? I would say, I am very much a fence-sitter about it. It's just okay? I am intrigued by some aspects of it, and I do like Evan actually. but that's all there is to say.

"For Forever" is my favorite song, due to the context of it being... a very lonely, suicidal person recounting their suicide attempt, through the lens of "... but actually, it was an amazing day, and I was with someone the whole time". The psyche of this is just so interesting. Potent, even.

As he reaches the climax of approaching his suicide attempt, the song reaches this triumphant feeling -- because the narrative is that this is an accident. I wonder if Evan is channeling the feeling of his heart pounding, breath tight climbing the tree. "wondering how the world might look from up high"... So whimsical feeling. The song 'drops' right when he says, in a subdued voice, I suddenly feel the branch give way. I'm on the ground. My arm feels numb. Ah, it's delivered so plainly, yet emotionally... I really like the way Evan's voice clenches at he's come to get me. He's coming to get me. and everything's, okay. Knowing that, in reality, Evan must have been laying on the ground with his broken arm, processing that he was still alive... and then he had to quietly scoop himself back up, and just, go home, I dunno... Feels real, somehow. How the day must have simply continued to go on.

This maybe will sound weird, but... I dunno, I understand why it'd be bizarrely cathartic to recount these events differently, as something beautiful and then that someone was there to coddle Evan in the end. To me, For Forever has a very rich, feverish ill quality to it all, when you go back to it with all this information in mind.

"Waving through a Window" is another song where I simply enjoy Evan's psyche. Someone so hobbled by their illness that they are merely a bystander to life passing around them. Even if the play itself doesn't quite convey mental illness at this intensity for the following events, I still get something out of a song like this.

Lastly, "Sincerely, Me" -- it's. an annoying song ksdfjh but. But like in a way I dig lol, I know it's kinda grating and lame, the jokes, are not good, and yet. It's like really fun I love the energy lol. It's fun to sing, fun to act out. Again, I like Evan's psyche here... His friend is being annoying, but I like that if Evan had a friend, he would like send them pictures from his hikes and talk about trees. Oooh. little lame boy.

The movie versions of the songs are fine to me, but I still prefer the original broadway recording & performances. That's... usually how I feel about things. *shrug!*

---

*sitting around thinking* Hm... what else.. OH, right, Wicked! Hmmm... Wicked gets the 'Just Okay' rating, it's fine. Like truly fine. I don't think it's a great story but, the original books aren't really either, and I've never found the story of the Wizard of Oz interesting. But I like that we are at this point of derivative fiction where it's a musical of the book that is a fanfic of the original novel.

"Popular" might be my favorite Wicked song, like sonically? Stimmy and good to perform. And I like vain girls and vanity songs. It's a good song. But I like Elphaba as a character more than Glinda so "The Wizard and I" is an important second. I really feel for Elphaba emotionally here, the song succeeds in making you pity her... Her ideas of grandeur... This is a girl who has lived her whole life a freak and underdog, finally letting herself get a little haughty and imagine getting what she 'deserves'; position of great importance. So that way, everyone will HAVE to respect her, and maybe also -- she'll be free of her curse, magically... Sad wish fulfilment. And then of course, hearing all this, while we, the audience, know she where she is going to end up, in a sense.... It's a song that works well with the setup of the musical, but also the general cultural knowledge of the Wizard of Oz and Elphaba's destiny of being the Wicked Witch of the West is going to mean for her. :< Reminds me of why I like the live action Maleficent movie...

"Dancing Through Life" next best, nice long sequence, I like all the different 'phases' of the song. I do not care about Fiyero as a character, but for ME it is fun to act out and sing the carefree chill lines. I am at least on board with the hedonistic point of view. Why know shit? Indeed. Nessa's portion of this song are especially beautiful to me also...

With that in mind, I also enjoy "A Sentimental Man" & "Wonderful" despite not caring about the Wizard... I enjoy embodying the role of a shitty guy here, lol. And I think it is at least intriguing for someone to propose that history is a matter of perspective, even if he himself is just an asshole. I'm like hm well, I don't mind having a song in the musical to let us chew over the thought and see how we feel about it all by the end of it.

Next is "Thank Goodness". While I prefer Elphaba over Glinda, I still enjoy Glinda's emotional palate displayed throughout the musical. I like her woes in this song! Much like Nessa's portions of Dancing thruogh life, Glinda's parts of this song feel really beautiful? Girls experiencing woefulness, not happy with where they are in life... Not actually finding true love. Her heartbroken voice as she sings Couldn't be happier... gets to me! I like how much it feels like Glinda is really trying to assert how she should feel atop over how she actually feels. Trying to force a smile, repeatedly, a girl who is having to smooth over her expression again and again.
I think this clip conveys what I mean. It's a wonderful performance to watch...

Final things of note are "What Is This Feeling?" and "One Short Day". I likey a duet. Perhaps it is snobbish of me but I would say "Defying Gravity" is on the lower end of my favorites, clocking last of the songs I would note... But not my the song I like the least by any means ! I like Elphaba and Glinda's back and forths in songs in general, and I like Elphaba harkening back to what the Wizard said in "Sentimental Man"... I like callbacks that make you go 'oooh...'

One last thing I want to note is that overall, I am rather stimulated by the way Wicked's lyrics do wordplay and mess around with things. Made up words, fake-out rhymes, repetitious adjective use, idk! I likey a lot. Makes the setting indeed feel fairytale-like.

---

It's happening, I'm finally running out of things to note/say. I listened to Love Never Dies and I loved the title song "Love Never Dies" best. Absolutely recommend it as something to listen to, love the lyrics. It is simply a good love song. Love makes you crazy! Yes. "Look With Your Heart" and "Beneath A Moonless Sky" were neat too. "Devil Take the Hindmost" was pretty silly but I like too. I've never listened to the original Phantom, errr it's never tempted me ENOUGH fsr, because I know he doesn't get the girl. Thus, why I have listened to the fanfiction-y sequel sooner. But I think for completionism's sake I will listen to Phantom. Eventually.

mmmmm what else. OH SWEENY TODD!!!!! Avvy showed me this one very recently. I liked it! I can listen to the whole album!! Best song pour moi is "Pretty Women", perfectly surmises what it is like to be a creep who loves women. YOU KNOW I LOVE THAT!!! Fucking snape is here to sing about his future teen bride making him mad. Her ardent and eager slave is a bonkers line, given the circumstances. The examples of 'what women do' are hilarious to me, because I am that basic. Ohh women be blowing out their candles and brushing out their hair. Ohh.

"Green Finch and Linnet Bird" is a good 'girl trapped and yearning' song. Oh to be free. Girls be relating to birds in cages all throughout history, and I think that is beautiful *drools* I like the meandering melody in the reprise of "Johanna", I like this being Todd's descent into murdering people on the reg, and giving up on his vengeance quest, yet... Also intermittently saying things like my little dove, my sweet, my little lamb, my pet and so on... Ah, "Not While I'm Around" is very emotional and affectionate also. Piteous orphan boy is grateful....

"A Little Priest" is very whimsical, really embodies the kind of word-play i expect in a musical song?

OKay I think. That's it. I'M DONE NOW!!!!!!!! Never ask me anything again.

[answered on: 1/14/2022]

me and avvy just call them 'sphinxes'. since, the general criteria for sphinx is human face, on an animal body. we just are liberal with how we stylize it and choose the animal body traits. afaik, this concept is more prolific in japan/on pixiv, in this particular way (turning anime characters into them) ; me and avvy are specifically inspired by art we have seen.

actually, i can even link the exact piece i have admired and looked at for a long time: here! this piece has stolen my heart for a long time. it inspired me to draw my own sphinxes, trying to study this specimen. but, i'm not even the first, really. this (NSFW) pixiv stack was done as fanart for that drawing as well. I look at it often... I just love her

i wish i could see a thousand of these. i wish i could populate the world with so many sphinxes. they're just so fun to make, to see, to share, so i really want to encourage and infect as many people as i can with them, hahaha. oh, as for their sapience levels, i imagine them somewhat more sapient than an animal, but only just a smidge. but i'm fluid about it, so i also imagine them as completely feral brained and behaving as little creatures, as much as i imagine them sipping tea together. but no matter what they'd be simpler than humans, with animal instincts and behaviors! that's the most fun way to think about them, i think.

[answered on: 1/14/2022]

i don't think my taste here is interesting... i really like black eyes, aesthetically, and they're fun to render. i would say i think about face cuts a lot... across the eye, across lips; i like different degrees of severity and how fresh the wound is. i actually really like all stages of bruising... something about the sickly greens and yellows it takes on as it is disappearing, despite this being the least severe part of the healing.

next favorite areas would be hands and ribs, I believe... i used to have a fixation on rendering cuts/scars ribboning around individual fingers, for a while ~(embarrassingly, a lot of my early fanart of chara was littered with this...)~ . oh, but, the ribbbssss are like my favorite part of the skeleton and torso overall. love ribs.... i enjoy the thought of them being accentuated with precise cuts contouring their shape. i think i prefer bruising to be around the rim of them, the space between.... i also like belly bruises. the gut feels best for stabbing/gouging. [shyly] i really have, the same inclinations for gore as an edgy dA kid really... mostly think about surface level cuts and bruising, overall. i suppose the only other thing of note is i enjoy at times when bruises line the spine. feels evocative in a particular way... the thought of staring down a girl's nape and back and there are bruises running along it...

[answered on: 1/14/2022]

Ah, naturally, I like all sortsa noncon... [scuffs shoe] I often feel as though it is essentially my hobby to sit around and try and invent interesting noncon scenarios. And, I think I used to be pickier about my conditions for noncon, but I've found over the past few years, I've become more flexible and open to things... However! I definitely still have a pattern for like, my favorite types of noncon that I revisit.

At the core of it all, there is one essential component for me to really enjoy and explore a noncon scenario... Obsession. Singularly targeted obsession, to be precise. If it is not all about the victim, the object of affection, it just isn't as special to me!! I want INTENSITY, if I'm going to already be doing something as extreme as noncon. This better be the culmination of the perpetrator's emotions, or else, what am I even here for...!! Honestly. As a result, I do not really care for serial rapists (actually, I swear I prefer them to be total virgins...) Or like ehh... any implication that this is just another day for the assailant. I don't want it to be humdrum, oh just whatever I could grab... boring. I mean, in that case, there's so much fodder for impersonal rape; it proliferates everywhere, as it is closer to the reality of why people do this. For power, to subjugate someone weak, to feel above someone...

But-! This is the world of art, fantasy! If we're already going to imagine things like superpowers, nonhumans, otherworldly locations -- can't the rape also match that extremeness? The paradoxical 'romantic rape', this gesture of absolute love and selfishness... That is what I seek.

[waves hand] oh, but this is where things can get mixed up, however; we can play with different sliders, so long as the motivation is True Obsession. I enjoy it whether the rapist has been fantasizing about this extensively for years, and has stalked their victim for a long period of time (Qrow, Homura) or, whether or not it is an intense, sudden impulse overcoming them in a moment they could not resist, only to later come to realize this is seriously all they care about (... Pride, Thade(sorta)...) ; I like either extremes. Slowburn, culminating in rape? Or becoming corrupted merely by meeting someone and needing to take them?? It's all good. And, whether or not their victim is really submissive and forgiving or, like genuinely fighting them back and it is actually brutal, I like either flavors... I will explore either route, depending on what feels most applicable.

Oh-! And... another thing I really enjoy playing with is something starting consensual, but then still incurring noncon later. This is really particular but, ah, I like the thought of two individuals having had sex originally in a context of mutual desire and trust, but, for whatever reason, a later situation reveals this scary capacity of one of the individuals... Maybe the relationship wasn't going at a pace that was satisfying for them. Or, maybe their desires for sex go beyond what the other can imagine, or agree to, maybe it's unusually intense, and incorporating paraphilia. No preamble, no safe words, kinda deal. Maybe even having things someone said while consenting, twisted and used against them, ahh... So scary to think about [drools] It's a fun, unexpected spice~

I obviously like M>F rape, but I do indeed think a lot about F>M rape, and F>F rape, it's all good to me <3 Tasty, me likey. For girls using boys, I really enjoy grounding it in the fact that it isn't taken as seriously as the inverse, because Sexism. Maybe the girl isn't thinking of it as rape, maybe the boy isn't either, maybe both are unaware of why this is 'wrong'... Auh, and, I really like rape where someone is forced to penetrate! It's so underutilized... Being ridden forcefully, being cornered into putting it in, having a blowjob be forced even... Forceful handjobs. Heurr... =,= I think a lot about this. Oh, but also, I like fingering pussy being a part of rape, that also feels underutilized. It feels, depraved, in a particular way, I always love incorporating that into things. Maybe it's just that it feels so ~unexpected~, like, why does the rapist 'gain' from fingering, you might wonder. (The answer is, touching pussy.) And, is a girl ready to be forcefully fingered in a way that fries her brain?? Maybe not, so all the more reason it should be done-! [huff, huff]

Hm, what else... Oh, I should elaborate also, that I play a lot with whether or not the individuals experiencing the noncon can even identify what it is, whether they are pred/prey. This is in tandem with me liking unexpected scenarios, with younger characters noncon'ing older ones... Since I really enjoy stunted, troubled older characters, I like depicting how they could be vulnerable in ways they did not predict they would be, around kids. Not thinking about what could happen to them... In an age gap relationship where the adult has a lot of guilt and shame about what is happening, maybe they are not ready to be subjected to their supposed "victim" 's will-!! The tenacious younger individual... Like, watch out, maybe loli rapes you! Be on your toes.

So, yeah, a lot of elements can be played with and subverted or reversed, for me. I just love noncon at its bones. Intrinsically hawt. I tend to custom tailor scenarios to characters and settings, and, it's honestly fun and stimulating for me to set out with a goal. "How do I make Ruby rape Qrow? How do I make Qrow rape Ruby?" I do not know the answers to these questions when I start out, since I like to build things 'from the ground up'. I like to work to get my noncon. Like a little carrot dangling at the end of a rope.

Mostly when discussing this, I focused on humans/fandom, because that's like, both the most involved and intense I get with noncon. Having whole narratives and stuff backing it up and all. (Actually, my OCs and fursonas are really narrative based and used for noncon a lot, but that's redundant to get into; assume the same rules apply for what I just discussed) -- But, as I mentioned earlier, I've gotten more agreeable to more kinds of noncon, and when it comes to ferals the bar is at its lowest loll. I enjoy a lot of feral art on purely aesthetic levels since I love ferals so much. At that point, I'll enjoy whatever, like a gangbang? Yes. I'm game. I've gotten more accustomed to scrolling pixiv and enjoying random loli rape doujin and pieces... I just like girls enough that I'm capable of enjoying things aesthetically, on that level...

However, I want to circle back to 'obsession' being necessary for my favorite noncon, and say, that to mirror that, I can't really stomach 'indifference'... I dislike a lack of preciousness, past a point. I do not want the victim to be degraded or thought of as worthless, a piece of trash, negligible... And, I don't want the assailant to be depicted as gross or mindless or ugly... I am most sensitive to this. As A Romantic, Sentimental Rapist, I do not want to inhabit this fantasy. I don't want to make someone feel like this is mundane and unimportant to me, and, I also do not want to be seen as a slobbering gross wretch. I'm way too sensitive for that!! I would like my dick to at least be NEUTRAL, let's say. At the very least.

But, ideally, the victim in noncon is experiencing dread because of how much they could not have fathomed and predicted this, nearly inhuman level of fixation. The dialogue should make them pale, due to how crazy and into it the rapist is. That should be what's so scary. 0.0

[answered on: 1/12/2022]

haha, ah i'm sure it looks like we do everything in sync and together, but, yes we do ship different things sometimes! naturally. we have our unique predilections that seduce us in this way or that. i mean, actually, in the first fandom we shared, we had our own OTPs and only somewhat overlapped. It was like, sometimes we'd shake hands and respect one another for what we were doing artistically and thematically. i admired a lot of qualities of avvy's art, and her OTP for that series was actually what i had started out shipping before i moved onto a different one, so i saw the appeal in it :3

I would say, in general, i tend to ship... more. I have more 'snake' tendencies than avvy, who is pure 'slug'; i am more capable of enjoying the thought of a character sometimes pairing off with another, outside of my OTP. I'm more flexible and can be intrigued by a tangential pair, an off-handed branch. But, I have very severe OTP emotions, which is where me and Avvy can really connect haha. I'm not AS flexible as many other people are, I think. I take "OTP" seriously, as in, it really means One True Pairing. If I have an OTP in a series, it is my favorite, and I feel like it is the best out of all other ships and possibilities. Even if I can enjoy some side thoughts, I find myself most at home in my OTP.

For example, in SU, I really like Pearl and sometimes think about Steven/Pearl scenarios errantly. But Steven/Lapis is my absolute favorite ship for SU, it's my "#1". And, even if I enjoy Steven/Pearl, I'm not likely to draw much, I'll mostly just flirt with some thoughts to myself quietly. It's the nature of these side ships; since they're not intense, I mostly dabble and have idle thoughts. I might ramble to myself in a document, or enjoy a drawing or two I see...

Meanwhile, sometimes Avvy is more enthused about something than I am, and that's ok too. But really, we have such similar tastes, that I think nothing we ever ship really bothers the other? I don't feel as though there's anything we can't talk about, really. We've never watched a show together and walked away shipping completely opposing things that repulse the other. I think we engage with media in a similar enough way that it means it's not likely to be unharmonious. Though, it's funny, we do have discrepancies in things that really piss us off sometimes, but it's mostly amusing? Like, Avvy tends to find it funny when i really hate something that she feels indifferent about. omg. it's just a funny experience...

I used to be more self-conscious about my tendencies to ship more things than Avvy, but over the past few years, I've felt more secure about myself overall and just... Less worried about how Avvy will react to what I am thinking or feeling. So, even if we don't ship the exact same stuff, we will share our thoughts and feelings about things, and enjoy hearing what the other is doing.

... if I had it my way, I'd like, share and do absolutely everything with Avvy LOL.. But I can admit that my flickering attention span and multiplicity means that I'm kind of a whirlwind. I often feel like I like 1000 things, compared to Avvy, lol. I watch more anime and read more webcomics and stuff, OH and I play video games, which avvy does not. So I have more... mmm... 'junk food' type things I indulge in. Like, I have lots of things I enjoy on a really casual level, just for funsies, like Love live and K-ON and lucky star... and ava's demon, bittersweet candy bowl... I just umm enjoy, shipping, so it can't be helped, I have lots of random prospects in random things lolll...

like, on any random day, i'm gonna wanna look at pixiv for a K-ON ship, then trawl twitter for my hollow knight ship, then, like reread a RWBY RP me and avvy did 5 months ago, and then uhh, doodle PMMM, and then I'll thumbnail concepts for a GF dream i had 3 years ago and before bed I will edit an FMA fic. i'm a mess LOLL but i'm learning to like uh NOT BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT!! and avvy's very supportive and helpful with that ^^

so yeah we ship and do different things, but just tend to overlap strongly bc we have a lot in common, and even when we don't we're into what the other does as a whole so it's fun regardless~

[answered on: 1/9/2022]

hm, if i could go back and time and tell my past self some tips, i would say... the biggest thing i'd want him to know is to not worry about anatomy and realism. everyone always emphasized to me, in the past, that 'good anatomy' was synonymous with good art. but there's actually so many other facets of art, that, it just plumb doesn't matter if you're not good at drawing the human skeleton accurately. i say you should only work at things that matter to you.

so, if you're not 'good' at drawing hands, and don't care enough to learn, it's fine -- maybe it's just not essential for art, to you. maybe you prefer drawing faces, or focus on composition, color, or, maybe you just draw paws. sure! do that. draw characters with their arms folded behind them 1000 times! it wont make your art bad. as long as you are finding satisfaction in the things you love most!!

that being said, i'd say the other thing i'd suggest is to really observe and take note the things that inspire you. i regret that it took me so long to understand that... i should try to actively study, trace, imitate my favorite pieces... really ask myself WHY do i like them. WHAT about this drawing makes it so good? what's so lovable about my favorite character? what are my favorite episodes, scenes, still frames from something... I wish i had known to be more thoughtful and collect and observe stuff i like. i was kind of hapless and lost about this, until avvy taught me how... and, i've felt my art improve significantly since! along with my personal satisfaction in making it.

hope this helps...!

[answered on: 1/7/2022]

[overly beleaguered] okay, i'll answer this, but the picks are not going to be... surprising, i think. i'm basic, okay!? aurghh..

number one THE hottest ruby, to me, qrow branwen... it's volume 4-6 ruby =,= of course... it is visually appealing in many ways, along with having a lot of emotional significance. i (uncontrollably) think about ****ing her all the time rhgh. it's so ideal.

it's the combo of ripped thigh highs, tattered cape, and sternum window. it's like designed to hurt me. she's all scrappy, perhaps from traveling throughout mistral for months) and the look is so good as a result... i do um. i like. absolute territory. so i really appreciate the sliver of bare thigh presented right before her skirt... both this and her sternum window feels like an invitation to glide your fingers against her skin, slowly. and yet also dig your fingers into those points of access. the button up underneath her corset is actually quite cute to think about her wearing alone, also -- and it'd be ah, so easy to hook your fingers at the edge and slip out her tits... (i've drawn multiple qrowruby titsuck with this concept, and for good reason!?) ; as an extra bonus, i really like when Avvy wears white button ups around me, so i feel very <3 <3 <3 about it as a look.

the tattered cape evokes qrow which i love sm, they look great side by side during those volumes. =,= but also i really like her silver rose emblem hooking her hood around her neck? it feels so 'ruby' to me... this is definitely my favorite hood/cape combo overall! i sometimes mix and match outfit elements, and i usually want to preserve this aspect over others.

anyways, it's overly biased but, i like how thotty ruby is during these volumes where she has her key story beats with qrow. i mean it makes me feel like i can imagine the culmination of their crazy slowburn love happening in a passion, and qrow gunning to touch her in all these distinct locations immediately as he has been intrusively thinking for the 6-8 months he has been stalking her... oh um, and i feel like ruby's hair has also grown out prettily from the early volumes, so it is like a beautiful length now too, feathery and perfectly framing her face...

Number 2 hottest ruby 'fit to me... well it's volume 1-3 ruby!!! nya. what can i say! she is a beautiful specimen to me. a longsleeve black top and her ruffly skirt, and her tights!! she's your perfect hot topic gf. such a 'classic' feeling ruby to me... i would love to court her. would love to pull down the high collar of her shirt to neck, would love to stick hands under ruffly skirt and grope up along tights. i like that these boots have a touch of red at the top, real nice and goes with the bright red soles. i would love for this ruby to step on my dick.

i keep running into the volume and writing itself influencing how i feel about the look -- i guess i can't give a rating devoid of the atmosphere present around the look...? i suppose i, qrow branwen, am a little sentimental about these details colluding around the 'fit. it influences how i think about interfacing with it...
eurr it's like, early volume ruby is so genki and like *glomps you* XD!!! that i think a lot about this one like laying on her back and hugging her knees to her chest and kicking her legs excitedly. her girlish moments are so cute and sweet, and then on top of it, she is flashing me her panties constantly bc she cannot be aware of how short her skirt is and how tights put everything on blast. i am seeing the curve of her pussy through her panties and it is haunting me like a specter, in the corner of my eyes wherever i go. also when the skirt twirls from an excited movement, it blasts hot pussy air upwards at me and i'm just so fine and normal about this. it's fine. but yes, as a result, i do think about sticking my face up under this skirt and mouthing at her through tights a lot. texture of whatever nylon or spandex against lips...

i look a lot at early volumes girl, i gaze at caps... she just has a particular prettiness... adore her.

Ranked 3 in my picks, thus the lowest out of any of the main volume outfits, is volume 7-8... but make no mistake i don't think her clothes look bad!! the choker and her SUPER tall boots and her short red skirt AND BRIGHT RED BOOTY SHORTS visible beneath the skirt -- these are all of value. i'd be grateful to f*ck her. i would also want THIS ruby to step on my dick. i could never deny her you know? like nghyah. i like her fingerless gloves... she seems to be wearing stockings underneath her short shorts, and that is fun to think about fingering and pressing face against, the gap between shorts/boots...

because atlas drama sucks so bad and is soo misery inducing, i think this ruby really could use like, a pick me up... i think about qrowruby set in V7-8 to be very sadstuck. they just had spent so much time together, getting closer than ever before, but then they enter atlas which is... such an inhospitable environment. and then on top of it, they're split up by being assigned for duties with the ace ops, so there's hardly room to breathe. if they could manage to kiss here it'd be very ardent; crying and clutching one another, gasping through kisses. cupping ruby's face naturally leading to palming her neck and fingering her choker...

sadly i do not like her hair in this volume as much as her old hair ;; i can't help it, i HC that ruby (and various others) had to get their hair cut or tied up to be more 'regulation' do's, and ruby couldn't like... argue. i think of it as an uncomfortable transition, to suit the overall tenor of the atlas era (chiming in to say, i hope her hair grows out for V9-10...) ah but, like, beyond HCs, i do not like how her hair is rendered now. it's not that feathery texture it used to be? i miss the loose, curtain-y quality of her hair. if i think about her current do, i try to think about her [fussy voice] real hair texture applied to it, and it feels kinda uncomfortably messy and choppy, haphazard. but i imagine it still being lovingly touched and run through...

number 4, out of. idk how many?? i'm just picking things i remember off the top of my head. we're getting into the one-off side outfits now though. okay, but number 4 though... that's... PROM RUBY!! surprise! (... is it actually a surprise...?) maybe you wouldn't guess i'd be that into this dress, but i dunno... bear with me but i think about raping this one. it's like, something is misfiring in my brain, that pities how much ruby dislikes this outfit, so i'm like -- i'll rip you out of it. Tear You Out The Rest'a Them Clothez

i do like how misplaced and awkward ruby feels in this, and how much she doesn't, like wanna wear it. in an ideal world, ruby would have run back to her dorm to throw her hood over this dress and stood around awkwardly by the punch bowl for a few more minutes, before stumbling outside. and then when her heels were annoying her once again, she'd just, like take them off, and be walking in just her tights... i honestly like the umm vulnerability of her being so uncomfortable and displaced, wandering off alone... looking like a lost child really. it's like ahhhnnn....~ drools. oh to find you and corner you and rip your tights. and finger you, til you bleed. [suddenly very infatuated with my own thought e_9 ..........6.e]

number five. it's just ruby in her PJs. 'w' what a humble girl. once again she is your hot topic gf. i like her flimsy lil tank top and heart pants. so girlish of you. there's not as much fanfare for this one but my feelings are simple. would love to spoon her and cup her tits sleepily. myah

last one i can think of, so sixth place, bottom rung. ehmm i would say this one is the least of them all in that i don't actually have many thoughts. it's her outfit she wears briefly during volume 2's... [squints] either when team RWBY searches for the white fang, or they have a field trip? i think it's brief & mid volume so white fang prolly? in theory i enjoy the thought of ruby in a grey top, but she has a weird... hard, metal sleeve? bit? and then the texture of the shirt itself is kind of unflattering i feel. i don't like the little black ? overall dress...? that is layered over it, cuz it feels neither entirely under her tits nor over them, so the fabric kinda bunches there weirdly. and i would say in general i'm not crazy for layers like this. the laces on her middle are more fiddly feeling than usual... and then the skirt she is wearing isn't really interesting looking either. no pleats? man even her hood bunches too thickly and kinda sloppily in this outfit, around her neck...! i would have sex with any ruby If She Would Have Me but i do not immediately think of anything with this one. she's going to have to come onto me. u_u

okay that;s my ranking. i. talked more about fucking ruby than i meant to but i hope you just expect that of me at this point