i don't know what makes you think you don't deserve it!
and honestly.. i feel like this is just who i am? as a default?
i don't think ive ever been the kind of person to be standoffish unless im shy/don't know the person, but that's usually irl and not on the internet
i don't really see any purpose or merit in being mean just to be mean and i never really thought of myself or my personality as anything special, ive just always been this way