This made me tear up a little... I'm happy I've changed the way you engage with art though that feels pretentious of me because I haven't really put out any significant art yet and that always makes me feel like such a failure. I like to talk about stories a lot, but if I can't put out something of my own it's all talk - who am I, you know? But if I can have a positive impact on how you engage with art I'm happy, that's what I want out of putting things in the world, that's what my favorite works have done for me.

I don't have much support so it just gets hard sometimes. Especially when I'm battling negative inner voices every day. Fact is I don't have positive voices outweighing the negativity and a person can only take so much of that. Lately I've been wishing I put myself out there more during my high points - started a patreon or something. I'm afraid to do things like that because I have such a low opinion of my work, so I always tell myself I'm not worthy yet and no one would support me. But if I did have the courage to try it out when there were more eyes on me (im definitely buried by the algorithm these days) it might've given me enough encouragement/momentum to not grind to a halt so often like I currently do.

I'm battling a lot of things. A lack of support, a lack of security, poor health/disability, it just makes giving up easier. But thanks for reminding me not to, I want to meet your expectations of me and make something meaningful.

I'm not well right now but I will get better eventually... I will remind myself it's worth it to get better.