im not really sure, although i do miss my writing era here which had been the best moment and a core memory here being in the rl twt, it made me happy writing for chengwei and let my ideas create something for them.

but things went downhill for me after november last year i couldn't really write much although i have still some prompts, i still do until now actually. i still have a lot but the moment i will be writing, it doesn't come as much as i did before which is something i've been kind of dealing with or struggling with to come by, maybe im just emotionally burn out to write something (?) although, i did try my best to the latest one hihishaj. it was a rollercoaster ride for me, i went from being insecure to what if i just don't post this instead ? im not proud enough to post it unlike the other ones i wrote, i felt sad about it. writing has been something i enjoy ever since and to actually come out of fear of thinking maybe what if people don't like for 5 years was something to me. i started at 2020 although i never really published anything publicly because im scared and im not as good as the others so my writings are just there usually in my drafts for years, so seeing that i made it out of the fear, to actually come out of it just because of chengwei made me feel something it motivates me to try and so i did.

so, the ones you've been seeing here, the written pieces under my pinned are actually ideas or drafts ones in my files. i just had that motivation feeling to actually continue them and recreate what's in there before. im actually satisfied about it, really. and im happy to know someone reads them, really.

but, for now maybe i will be lay low in writing until i can finally do it again, i can do both: reading and writing. but, i can't say for sure that i can consecutively write. maybe, depends on my mood or if my mind had that idea to write maybe i can, im just letting myself be at rest until there is a moment where i can write smoothly.