I recently texted my family group chat the HEX code of my brother's ear (#BF453D). (They get really red sometimes, for no reason.) My sister said I accidentally found a new method to bully people.... idk, I'm not a bully I swear. I love my little brother. I just like trolling him 🥺

"someone" yeah

One of my friends wrote to me on a random day "My boyfriend fucked my cat named Ruby and got it pregnant with dogs, no joke" and that even if they were joking it's quite interesting/funny.

Sleeping naked can jeopardize my balls.

Man there's a lot let me think oh i have one it was basically a Jared leto morbius joke "She Jared on my Leto till I Morbius"

‘I hope someone digs up your corpsed body and has sex with you dead’ I never had a fear unlocked that fast

Weirdest text I’ve received was from my father telling me a girl I used to be friends with wants to fuck him. I don’t even know why he told me that. Not only do I not care. But like EW? 😭 It literally came out of nowhere too. I was giving him advice since we were talking about his health and progress in the gym since he wants to get back into shape. (Which he’s been doing very good in btw, kudos to him.) Grown ass oversharing heathen 😒

"You might be surprised I texted, I want you to be my sugar baby and someone I can talk to I will assist you in payingyour bills and debt” gng I never said I had any debt or anything like that btw.. this was his first message to me

Uhhhhm idk. Received probably "I need you to send me two schlongs because I forgot I need them" and sent probably smth like: "the touching caused the dick twitch"?

“i guess we’re not gonna be marired and have 193749502617;94728827392 kids.”