kei's puppy · 14d
YEA I try to journal abt it sometimes, I think it helps. I randomly get hyper fixated on ppl (friends) and so the tinniest thing feels like abandonment, you know? I feel like I'm awful with explaining things hehe. The tinniest thing gets me thinking I'm gona be 'replaced'. I think the person is awesome but ig I'm the problem...telling them this and communicating?? Do you think that's a go idea? I feel like fear of being 'too much' or 'too emotional'. Just telling you all this, is eating me alive Lol.
I understand and thank you for trusting me with this.
Well, for one: the thing about avoidants is that, they pull away not because they don’t like you — but because they are scared as well. They also want connections, but they are scared of what might happen once they do so. Contradictory to people with anxious attachments, they respond by pulling away instead of clinging — which is different from what anxious people do.
Avoidant people need time to process their thoughts and feelings that’s why their response to situation tends to lean towards pulling away instead of pushing.
No, you’re not the problem — and neither are they. You just have different approaches when it comes to these things. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for them is to give them space. And just like what I’ve said, instead of internalizing the problem, it would help if you communicate this to them in a way that would not scare them away, i hope I’m getting my suggestion across here. And again, try reshaping your thought process when it comes to this because it would take a toll on you if you dwell on it.
I believe that communication goes a long way. And yeah, patience.
