hehe yes i am… one could say my queer index is too high… (in all seriousness, i’m a lesbian)

i keep saying this in different variations, but i seriously appreciate you taking the time to interact with my work so thoroughly. i thought long and hard about the execution of their sexual encounters, it challenged me quite a bit (not because i’m a lesbian to be clear, sex scenes just aren’t my strong suit in general 😭).

when it came to their sexual dynamic, i definitely wanted to be cognizant of the environment/experiences that informed every other thing about them individually. being feminized, in this specific story, wouldn’t have built upon the other things they had going on re: being gay in the first place. writing them as sexual partners was obviously extremely important to the progression of their relationship, and i wanted the details to lend themselves to the narrative, rather than stray too far into fetish territory. nothing wrong that kind of thing, i read my fair share of pwps— i just don’t think it had a huge place here. which isn’t to say i left more freaked out things entirely LMFAO. you already know that

but yes, i took it very seriously and tried to
write the name of honoring the characteristics i worked hard to create. didn’t want anything getting lost along the way :]

again… thanks for giving me the opportunity to talk about my process and perspective :D

😭😭😭😭😭 hearing this from you has saved me! i’m so happy this fic found you and to have put it out there so it could reach you.

as i was writing, i struggled a lot with various components and the scale of it. this is by far the longest fic i’ve ever written and
building a relationship from the beginning and earning the romantic+emotional beats felt so lofty. i had a lot of doubts about that towards the end and almost privated the fic within the first few days of it being up due to my over analyzing. the reception has been such a relief. while i won’t say i’m happy you cried, i am elated to know something I wrote could illicit such a reaction.

dynamic/characterization compliments are some of my favorite receive!!! i find weaving the glimpses we see in real life to be really gratifying.

ironically, i got embarrassed rereading certain parts. it’s the same, even now. when i see comments that express similar sentiments or mention specific narrative decisions i made, i think to myself “did i really write that? could my writing be so memorable?” which makes the affirmations hit a lot harder. i wonder about the realism in it often, as it’s quite heavy handed. in the end, i decided it was the most effective way to tell the story i had in mind. establishing intimacy and deep understandings between them was a major focus of mine. lucky for you, i insisted on depicting their relationship as intimate above all else. like i wrote, keeping their strongest emotionally commanding challenges and euphoria close to their hearts was paramount. they, of course, had no choice in that in some instances, but i think they would hold onto the depth of their connection, regardless of social conditions.

imagine me thanking you a million times over! thank you for reading, letting my work into your heart, and reaching out. it’s impossible for me to truly express how grateful i am, so please inflate my gratitude where my words fail. All the best! <3