[answered on: 4/2/2022]

I've thought about the aftermath of the day at the lake so often actually... Since what information we do hear about it is, devastating (the emphasis in how no one had ever seen Mari so upset, her collapsing on top of Sunny after saving him, being unable to go back to the lake ever since) — you have to imagine that this was no small incident for Mari. In fact, I think it disproportionately effects Mari, even more than Sunny, despite it being that he almost lost his life. He... can't feel the same kind of intensity about it because he isn't precious to HIMSELF... Actually, based on the Lost Library entry about this incident, I assume Sunny more or less feels like, embarrassment, about it, like. That time I really beefed it because I got scared by a spider, sank like a stone into the lake, sigh. Feeling like he has water in his ears for days after... Upsetting, but not earth-shattering, I think. Sunny's almost too good at the repression dance too, to seriously consider that he almost died, and what that would mean... He 'moves on'.

But Mari does not...

So all that being said, I always envision that after Mari collapses, cries, holds Sunny... that she helps him stand up and immediately ushers him home, arm around him the entire time — they're mutually clutching one another. Everyone else reads the room, more or less, and they assured Mari and Sunny both that they'll clean up and go home. Whatever toys, picnic supplies, whatever... They let Mari and Sunny walk home together, without interruption. I think Mari's instincts would be to flip into caretaking mode, and trying to be reassuring to Sunny, who is perhaps mostly shut down and quiet. Out of it. Though as Mari speaks, she is clearly high-strung sounding, warbling voice... She's trying to comfort herself as much as she is Sunny, talking about how they'll get home and get him warmed up, in a fresh change of clothes... Rubbing his shoulders as she speaks. It was described to be 'sunset' when this incident occurred, and it is likely the middle of summer — probably set sometime after the beach photos in the real-world album, which are late June — so the days are quite long, and warm... But they both might still be shivering, with their soake clothes clinging to their bodies. Finally getting home, I think, they evade their parents quietly and easily. Mari ushers Sunny upstairs and walks them both into the bathroom, starts toweling him off. Like, she starts with his face, fusses over him... She towels herself off enough so that way her hair isnt dripping wet anymore. Then ushering him to the bedroom, seats him on her bed.

I think Sunny is braindead enough that Mari just instinctively moves to help him undress. You have to assume this isn't even a very foreign experience for them, since they've likely shared a room most of their life, and Mari helped Sunny a lot as a baby and toddler... In a moment like this, there's not really time to be extremely self-conscious. She shucks his shirt off, helps dry off his torso. Maybe for discretion she drapes the towel over his shoulders and it covers him enough that she can just grab the ends of his shorts and boxers, peel those off, while leaving Sunny a little modesty. And he can finish toweling himself off while Mari tosses the soaking wet clothes into a clothes hamper. She prioritizes him entirely before getting to herself, wordlessly changing out of her dress. She's not facing Sunny for this, she's not thinking about it all so hard, but maybe Sunny does stare at her the entire time kkldgj... It's like. In the middle of all the dissociating the brain is like "Naked sister?" *stares at Mari's backside* This is of no consequence, just happens. Though perhaps Mari had assumed Sunny might get up and grab his clothes while she got dressed, so seeing him still bundled in a towel, sitting at her bed, staring at her with big eyes, is like... Oh ah, poor Sunny, needs my help still. She fetches him a new outfit. Maybe a thin longsleeve, worried he is still cold.

There's maybe an interlude where they basically go on 'autopilot' and go about like, getting them both something to eat, like maybe there's dinner leftovers to eat at, etc. They'd both be eager to fall into something familiar and routine feeling, though all the while I think Mari is uncontrollably fussing over Sunny more than usual, like touching him, stroking his head, insisting he not lift a finger really. Sunny meanwhile just kinda zombie-like shuffles around... He's maybe coughing a bit every now and then, lungs hurt from being filled with so much water so violently... When he was dragged out of the water, he choked and gasped and coughed a lot, and he's still feeling the effects. Sometimes spacing out and feeling, all of a sudden, below water again, water filling his nose and ears... Phantom sensations... He sways, unbalanced seeming, when standing. Mari stands right beside him, often, arm around him... Sunny is very permissive and instinctively clinging to her as well, even if weakly. Head resting on her side, hand clutching the end of her shirt or skirt...

For all this, I think Mari manages to suspend her brain for the most part, and just try and focus on the now. Sunny needs her, and she must be calm, be there for him. Good big sister instincts... Don't want to freak Sunny out by reminding him that he almost, died. But it's overwhelming to brush up against for Mari, every time, and she has to resist buckling... fight back more tears. Maybe every now and then she sort of pauses between an action, hesitates, as she is swarmed by the thought, but she inhales, sucks it in. But when it's time to go to bed I think it's really like, too much for her... Aching, knowing that the night is going to be so difficult, when the lights go off, it's going to be so... hard... to not obsessively repeat that SUNNY ALMOST DIED...

There's too much to think about. What if she hadn't reached him in time, what if he — sank too deep, by the time someone came to help them, he'd be drowned, he just... how could they rescue him from the bottom of that lake... The thought of having to leave him, wait until the, some, group of experts, fish his corpse out of the water, the visuals... I think it utterly torments her, makes her chest seize, makes her hand clap over her mouth. Hyperventilating... I think Mari immediately feels the weight of the thought of never seeing Sunny again, waking up without him, his... all his things, their shared bedroom, what would happen to his toys? Unplayed, untouched, and all his clothes, his... His everything... Never again feeling him shyly tug at her, never seeing his dark eyes dart around before looking up at her plaintively, asking quietly for her to make him a milkshake. Thhhe little things, everything, it all piles up instantly in her chest, filled to burst. No more mumbling, muttering little voice, no clingy hands, no tight hugs... Never getting to see him smile or laugh or delight in anything ever againnn... What would she even DO? What a pervasive question. And yet, no answer, she just shuts down, can't think about it... Cannot fathom it.

As a KINDNESS to Mari, I imagine that Sunny himself cannot actually manage to sleep in his bed after everything, either. They got into their respective beds out of habit more than anything, but I don't think Sunny really wants to sleep alone, nor can manage it. He lies there in the dark, staring at the ceiling for a while, before he... rolls out of bed, clumsily, and stumbles to Mari's. She's jarred from her misery but hurriedly, desperately lifts her sheets, and the energy she has infects Sunny, he crawls in quickly after. She clutches him so tightly, he nuzzles against her chest, tucks under her chin. A silent night of clutching and stroking the other. I think they don't sleep for a while either, but at least it happens eventually. It helps Mari to feel Sunny's living, breathing body against her. She clings to every sign of his body alive and well.

Unfortunately, due to both Sunny and Mari's nature of not externalizing their most complex feelings, I don't think there's ever a conversation about this... No words exchanged. I don't think Mari can handle broaching the topic herself at all...! If she can't bear to go to the lake anymore, I think this is just reflective of how Mari wants no reminders of that day. Unbearable for her... And Sunny is just, not well-versed in talking about himself, his feelings, at all, he lacks the ability to introspect... He also wouldn't know it is something him and Mari have to talk about together, exactly, doesn't think about how they're both deathly afraid of losing the other. Mmm... I mean it's crazy that, in tandem, in mirror to this all, Sunny is upset and struggling to keep Mari's time and attention, feeling like she is disappearing from his life steadily because of school and piano...

The timeline is brutal though. There are photos showing that they were going to the lake-hangout spot in March of that year, still. And as I mentioned earlier, it seems they were still all going to the beach and having summer swim-times as late as june 22nd. The memory we see in-game of the beach, where Sunny (in swim trunks!) walks around and delights in all the beach toys, and everyone's eating watermelon and having such a silly time... So I don't think Sunny has had a near-death experience yet, nor has a fear of water by then? Soo it's quite possible this lake event happened in late June/early July... I think this colors all events after that date so differently, really.

Sunny's birthday would be several weeks after that. I wish I could know Mari's mental state when buying him such a large birthday present, and preparing it in a big box and all? I wonder if it is at all, like... "I need to show Sunny how much I love him"... Her perfectionism urging her to provide Sunny with only the best...? And then, perhaps, the treehouse being built in August also feels like a solution, almost, to no longer having their special hangout spot by the lake. This naturally slots in as their new place to spend time together as a group, sequestered from others.

And then, the recital approaching in a mere couple of months... The pictures from September of Sunny clinging to Mari, practicing with her, the note in the photo album that he misses her, and has been spending more time with Basil since Mari isn't around... rgh. It's brutal-!! The set up for The Incident feels so precise, in reality. The psyche of it all...

I get sad that people think of Mari wanting their Waltz to be perfect as, perfectionism for perfectionism's sake... And not thinking of it as a representation of wanting it to be perfect FOR Sunny, for the both of them. Since there's so much baked into their respective instruments mirroring the other, and for Sunny this is 100% about playing FOR Mari... It makes logical sense the truth works both ways, that Mari was doing this all FOR Sunny, who she loves so much and almost lost. It's devastating that, in a way, Sunny then experiences what Mari nearly did, that day. She was, perhaps already coping with the idea of loss...

God does this game hurt. It sometimes all feels TOO thought out and cohesive. X﹏X i suppose omocat herself is a methodical perfectionist though, so... sigh. makes sense, doesn't it...? ＞︿＜