Anonymous Coward · 7d
What would happen if you discovered who I really am and decided you didn’t want me around anymore? I want you to know that I have always—truly, always—considered your friendship a priority in my life. It might not have seemed that way, but you have always been one of my favorite people—someone for whom I would give my own life.
When I cut off contact, it was out of fear. You seemed so determined to put distance between us that I chose to put up a barrier; I was afraid that if I begged you to stay, I would only end up bothering you. I am so sorry if I gave the impression that I didn’t care about you; I deeply regret not staying, because, honestly, being away from you feels like missing a lung—it’s like not knowing how to keep going, like being lost in an abyss.
See? I’m even getting sentimental and vulnerable, even though I’m usually a tough girl with a total "666" vibe. It’s not very "rock star" of me to start crying.
What if I discovered who you really are, and you realized that things weren't at all as you thought, yet I still wanted you close to me? I mean it when I say there isn't anyone I wouldn't want to have close to me, otherwise, I would tell you right now that I don't wish to have anyone who has crossed paths with me but is no longer part of my life around me, but that's not the case, it's very sweet of you to consider me one of your favorite people, surely, you are just as important to me, if not even more, but I cannot tell you that just yet because, as you know, I still haven't discovered who you are.
I never choose to distance myself from someone without a reason, perhaps, at some point, I was surrounded by chaos, with my world turned upside down in a mess that could have been fixed, and I acted from a perspective I never intended to show, i admit that because of it, I lost many people I considered important, sometimes I'm rather foolish, I don't think before acting impulsively, and people end up distancing themselves, perhaps you decided to put up that barrier because of my actions, and I am responsible for the way I behave, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel, in any way, that you weren't someone suitable to have close to me, you don't owe me an apology, perhaps I'm the one who should be apologizing, that abyss you say you're lost in, I believe it's being inhabited right now, because we're exchanging words, and somehow, you're not so lost anymore now that you've found me.
I see, being vulnerable or sentimental around me is never a problem, i can feel it, you express it so clearly, and somehow, it brings me closer to you, that balance in your personality is lovely, you're in good hands, I would never judge you, thank you for telling me, thank you for replying to me, and thank you for making me one of your favorite people.
My dearest rock star 666.
