Awwwwwwwwww!!! Hi, extremely sweet anon!

Thank you sooooo much, I wish you a very wonderful merry Christmas Eve and Merry Christmas!!!

I spent some very hard weeks. I had to deal with a root canal, very very painful, I did another exam and I got 27/30!!! Even if there are problems on the Uni site but those problems can be resolved only ater Christmas holidays...
I also made projects for 2 different courses and currently I'm studying for a VERY hard exam I have on 8th January

And, things that hurt me the most, more than the root canal, what i considered an extremely close and important friend of mine decided to not be my friend anymore and she acts very cold towards me right now and I have to deal with her because we are in the same DnD campaign and, well, she treats others sweetly and this is very painful, especially because I gave to hear a HUGE part of my heart, but... well, I'm suffering a lot, having very extreme thoughts, I attempted multiple times to hurt myself but... my therapist knows, it's very very complex and I don't know how to feel better. A part of me just wishes we could be friends again...
I also ordered a commission for her, that I'll show later, because I really cared about making her a gift of her DnD OC...
I feel a huge void inside and I don't know how to feel better, I was so close with this friend of mine I even got a crush on her one year ago (my bf knows, we resolved that situation, VERY long and tricky story, but I'm extremely happy with my bf ^^)...

Working to be better, even if that wasn't enough for that person, it's extremely hard to work on something that is so deep inside me, since my very very early childhood considering how my previous therapy sessions with my psychologist went...
It's painful seeing a person you cared SO MUCH just... breaking your heart and just... having others, you are useless for them despite all the love you gave... it's an extremely extremely profound scar...

Oooh, well, I'm extremely happy about all the exams I did this year, some of my progresses, like me being able to have friendly conversations with my course mates and Uni is going well, hoping to graduate in Autumn/Fall 2026, on February, according to my plans, I'll talk with the professor I want as supervisor of my Master Degree thesis ^^
Also in the first half of 2026 I'll do my Internship in a studio that also works in Animation and I'm extremely extremely excited for it!!! ^^

And, ooooh, also in 2026 I'll join a new DnD campaign, always made by the same DM, Arabian inspired and... well... I'm excited ^^

I wish I could deal with the extreme EXTREME feelings I have in a way I won't hurt myself, some thoughts are very... violent and... hard...

Btw, happy holidays to you!!! Sorry for all this venting and talking, but you deserve the best!!! ^^