Anonymous Coward · 1d

So how does this "flirting" thing work anyway?

fuck me and find out 😘
i do think this actually deserves a proper answer though lol

my usual approach to flirting is basically just finding lighthearted ways of saying "try me." here's an example of an exchange i actually had last month:
"i love those trousers, really works together with that (ohh i hope you don't mind me saying) sexy top."
"aa ty !! and i don't mind you saying that at all ^^ in fact, i think you can say whatever you like~"
the flirt is that "in fact..." bit. i'm saying "i like this and i'm inviting you to go further if you want to. try me." each comment is a little nudge to escalate. big enough to be noticeable, but gentle enough that backing off is comfortable. ideally the other person should be able to just giggle and then not reciprocate if they don't want to, rather than feeling awkward and as though they need to politely turn you down.

"I seriously don't know what to do with you!"
"try me?~"
"oh god. ❤️"

one thing i get personally is i am constantly terrified of being seen as predatory, so i end up wrapping everything i say in a layer of irony, like i'm just being silly and goofing around. it gives me this plausible deniability of "i'm only being serious if you're being serious" that i find also helps me to give myself permission to make the cheekier comments, because then the tone that we're setting is very non-serious and doesn't feel like explicit advances. my sex blog's tagline is "fuck me about it" but "kiss me about it" is something i have genuinely responded to compliments with before. if i'm not as close with that person i might soften it to "um maybe you should kiss me about it or something??" while pulling a quizzical look to visually demonstrate that i'm fully aware i'm saying something a little outrageous "for comedic effect." the ideal then is that they call my bluff and actually try to kiss me, or maybe they don't but they make another cheeky comment in response to show me that they wanna play this game too.

because flirting, for me, is a game about saying witty humorous things to each other that are far more sexually intimate than your relationship would typically permit "as a joke" until they gradually cease to be such. the "haha jk... unless? 😳" meme is silly, sure, but it's not unrealistic. it helps to be confident and witty, and having a go will improve both of those skills for you.

an exchange i overheard in a pole class when we were doing a doubles pose that i found delightful:
"shall i go on top?"
"usually i'm on top, but i'd bottom for you any day~"

it's not a competition. it's not a test. there are no practice runs. it's just a game. there can certainly be prizes, but it's more fun to focus on the intrinsic joy of it instead. go in with every hope and no expectations. fuck around and find out.

and if you wanna try fucking around i'd gladly show you finding out~ ;)

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