hey, i’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this right now :( i think it’s one of the most hurtful feelings in the world when we expect someone we care about to consider our emotions and boundaries, and are instead met with the idea that they might not care the way we want them to or think they should. for what it’s worth, i think it is still worth making your boundaries clear, and it’s more important to tell someone these things outright than to let the uncomfortable feeling linger. i think we become more resentful when we keep things to ourselves, and we start to wonder whether we can trust the people we care about. on the one hand, i think if you did establish that boundary with them and they became defensive and passive aggressive instead of received what you were saying with understanding, there may be a deeper underlying issue with the relationship. there’s a reason they reacted that way. it’s not your job to accommodate those feelings, but their silence may not be personal. it may instead be coming from something else they don’t know how to voice. a lot of people react defensively when they have bottled up emotions that they haven’t sorted out. this isn’t always intentional, but it still hurts to be on the receiving end of. i think sometimes breakdowns in communication create these situations as well. maybe they didn’t know how to hear what you were saying the way it was presented, even if it made sense to you and felt right. that’s no fault on your part, it’s something they should be able to express. you’ve already communicated how you feel/how their actions have made you feel. unfortunately, a lot of times, the person who is hurt still has the burden of communicating. i don’t think it’s fair. but i think if they’re not talking to you, then the only way to move forward is to confront them. not aggressively, but to lay everything out clearly so that they have a better chance of understanding where you’re coming from and what your original intentions were. how they respond to that will likely be a clear indicator of whether this is a relationship still worth working on. but i also think that if you frequently feel unheard or dismissed by them, and still are seeking their company and validation, then it’s important to look at whether this relationship is more detrimental in the long run. it’s difficult to initiate and accept an end to a relationship when you still are very much attached to the other person, but if they’re not respecting you or your boundaries (which you explicitly outlined) then you’re not taking care of yourself and are doing yourself a disservice by continuing to engage with them. you need to prioritize your feelings, your emotional wellbeing, and your self worth. you don’t deserve to be met with silence or have your feelings invalidated and your boundaries disrespected. it’s hard to step back and see things that way. and ultimately, what you do is up to you. i’m not an expert or anything at all, i just want to tell you that i’m here for you, and i want you to value yourself above everything else while you figure out what to do next. it may be a miscommunication. it may be some sort of emotional reckoning yet to take place on their part, or a knee-jerk reaction due to past experiences in their life. it may also be that this person isn’t treating you with the same respect and understanding that you’re giving them. but if you miss them, and every day you’re crying because you want to be talking with them again, then you may need to be the one to open up the conversation again. i know it would feel so much better if it came from them. if they were the ones to reach out and apologize and ask to clear everything up. but people don’t always think the way we think, and they could be afraid to extend that hand after realizing how much they may have hurt you. so you have the choice to reach out to them, but you’re not obligated to in any way. you don’t owe them anything, and it’s also perfectly understandable to wait. if you give relationships space, sometimes it becomes easier for both people to breathe and see things more clearly. there’s a chance they may reach out to you first, and you just need to give it time. but if you need things to move forward one way or another, it may help clear your head just to try a calm and assertive approach and see if they understand where you’re coming from. i don’t know if this is helpful at all, but i truly wish the best for you, and will always listen if you’re going through a hard time. my dms are open too in case you need to talk more. please just remember to treat yourself with love, respect, and grace because you deserve it and this isn’t your fault 💓