step one is kill the instinct to cringe. earnest desire is the key to perversion. step two is to get autistic about a specific kink/part of sex/body part/etc and find someone else who can match your freak. the elation at meeting Someone Who Fucking Gets It will outweigh the nerves from talking about it. step three is open communication. a good friend above all will respect a "hey you're cute and we follow each other's nsfw do you wanna bang about it" or something to that line, even if they turn it down. if you're still about and want more directed advice that wasn't given at the bad bitching hour of 2:35 you know my revo and presumably my discord dms